There’s not a better cover in the world for being aggressively nosey than walking your dog. You can gaze, stare and survey a house with wild abandon. After all you’re just a person ambling through […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
The Secret Society of Summer Haters
Here it comes – my annual “I hate summer” whine-a-thon. I know a lot of people (primarily my family) are so over hearing me complain and to that I say where is your compassion? I’m […]
Hot Headed
I’ve never thought of myself as a hoarder. Even during the pandemic, I never once got overzealous about buying toilet paper. Sure, I was having to ration squares of Charmin “Ultra Soft,” but we were […]
Garage Sales Are An Excuse To Creep on Your Neighbors
I hate garage sales. Mainly because I’m lazy. I’ve had a few garage sales over the years and just the hassle of pricing items was too much for me. Then when you add in the […]
Was I a Bridezilla?
My wedding anniversary is coming up and I was doing some reminiscing when I realized a harsh truth. I think I was a bridezilla. This thought was very upsetting to me because for years I […]
The Stupidity Tour
Everyone needs to travel because it exposes you to stupidity and I think that’s a good thing. A person needs to stay alert to stupidity so they can rage against it. If you just stay […]
This Friendship Is No Longer Taking Off
My friend circle has just gotten a whole lot smaller. This is due to a betrayal and it’s breaking my heart. I’ve had a close personal relationship with this friend for decades, as in we’ve […]
Marching On
Now that March is almost behind us I have two issues I’d like to bring up about the month. I’m going to start with St. Patrick’s Day. If you’re now thinking who has a beef […]
Happy Anniversary
I have an anniversary to celebrate. No, it’s not a milestone birthday or anything like that. It’s not even a major wedding landmark. It’s better. I’m a woman who has gone 10 years – an […]
Put Down the Label Maker
I’m going to make an educated guess, okay maybe just a guess, that we all hate being labeled. The one huge caveat to that is if the “label” is exceedingly complimentary like genius or beautiful. […]
Redefining Senior Moment
I never thought it would come to this but I’m now the most technological adept member of my family. This is saying a lot because my family includes people in their twenties. So, take that […]
Mysteries in the Parking Lot
Do you ever have those nights when you can’t sleep, and your brain goes to what I call befuddling conundrums? One thing that I fear is permanently lodged in my brain is “parking space cuddlers.” […]
Why Can’t Tires Be Romantic? 💝
Am I the only one who thinks that romance is overrated? I know it’s bold for me to share that thought because by saying this some people might think I’m throwing my husband under the bus. […]
It’s True Confession Time
I love a good confession. Most especially if it’s not me making it. If someone tells me they want, or better yet, need to confess something I’m all ears. As in immediately the confession will […]
Snow Rules ❄️
I like snow. Really, I do. It’s just that I have very specific requirements for snow. One, the snow must melt 48 hours after falling. I call this the “Snow Beautification” doctrine. (Note this doctrine […]
I Gave Christmas the Finger
Yeah, I know Christmas is over. The holidays are kaput. We’ve all moved on. Even our New Year resolutions are feeling a bit stale. But alas, for me the yuletide holidays have yet to take […]
Dear Snarky – My Relatives Hijacked My Wedding Photos
Dear Snarky, I recently got married and it was an amazing wedding. The only thing that pissed me off is that almost every single one of my relatives at different times hijacked the wedding photographer […]
Dear Snarky – My Adult Daughter is Butting Into My Marriage
Dear Snarky, My husband and I are retired. We are both in our early 60s. Because we spend a lot of time together due to being retired, we decided last year to take separate vacations. […]
My Daughter Just Announced She Wants to Become a Nun
Dear Snarky, I can’t believe I’m writing this but our daughter just announced that she wants to become a Catholic nun. To say that my husband and I are stunned is the world’s biggest understatement. […]
Dorm Room Shopping Needs a Mom Kiosk
Many books have been written about parenting. But the one book I’ve yet to see is a manual on how to buy stuff for your daughter’s college dorm or apartment without having a complete meltdown […]
It’s a Clean Sweep for My Obsession
I’ve gone down the rabbit hole of something called “cleantok.” These are videos on TikTok that focus on the whole scrub-a-dub-dub of keeping your house pristine. It’s enthralling viewing if you like to watch people […]
Dear Snarky – I Want Bouncers at My Wedding to Enforce The Formal Dress Code
Dear Snarky, I’m a real girly girl and I’m having a formal wedding where all the guests have been requested to wear pink. I think it’s going to be fun and beautiful. My issue isn’t […]
Dear Snarky – My Ex-Husband and His Fiancée Want to Cut Off My Daughter’s Hair
Dear Snarky, I’m very upset right now and I’m trying to hide it from my 8-year-old daughter. I’m divorced and her dad is getting remarried. My daughter is going to be a flower girl in […]
Dear Snarky – I’m Upset that My Pregnant Daughter is Refusing to Tell Me her Baby’s Name
Dear Snarky,I’m having a terrible time dealing with the fact that my oldest daughter is expecting her first baby within the next month and has REFUSED to give up the baby’s name. She “claims” it’s […]
My Latest Cringe Crime
I’ve entered my cringe era. By this I mean I’ve discovered I’m doing a lot of things that are now considered cringe. How do I know this? Because my children are vigorously informing me that […]
My To-Do List Of Summer Guilt
June is a month that’s like a stern scold from your mother. Now, I realize this is totally counter intuitive because June means summer has arrived and summer means vacations, outdoor fun, and a host […]
Death Bed Confession
I’ve got a death bed. Note I’m not saying I’m on my deathbed. But I legit have a death bed and it’s a piece of dirt in front of my house that refuses to nurture […]
My Mom Is Dating My Ex-Husband’s Father
Dear Snarky, I just found out my mother has started dating my ex-husbands father and I’m disgusted and so angry. My ex and his family dragged me through the mud in our divorce. It was […]
Are There Too Many Graduations? 🎓
I’ve got what I’m sure is going to be an unpopular opinion. But honestly that’s my favorite kind of opinion. Also is it even an opinion if people don’t disagree with it? As in would […]
Crop Tops and Barrel Jeans are Acts of Fashion Cruelty
I’m not one to complain, okay that’s a joke. I do, in fact, love complaining. I’m skilled at it and some might say I even have a gift for it. My latest grievance is with […]
This Geriatric Mom Can Still Spin a Tale
I’m an older parent. As in when my first child was born AMA was written on my medical chart. This didn’t stand for the American Medical Association, which I think one would logically assume, but “Advanced […]
Dear Snarky – Beach House Subterfuge
Dear Snarky, Can you help me stop what has become a family vacation issue every single summer? The problem is that for 5 years my family has been renting the same house on a beach […]
New Do, New You
I don’t consider myself a vain person. Of course, vanity is relative. For one person being vain may mean owning a tube of lipstick. For someone else excessive vanity could equal getting a deep plane […]
Dear Snarky – I Found Out I Was a Seat Filler On a Wedding Guest List
Dear Snarky, I recently found out that I was at the bottom of a family member’s wedding invitation list and I’m kind of pissed and it’s not for the reason you think. A good eight […]
Dear Snarky – My Perfect Divorce is in Jeopardy
Dear Snarky, My ex-husband of seven years has just gotten engaged. I’m happy for him because we’ve been divorced for a long time. What I want to talk to you about is his fiancé. We […]
Too Old for the Hipster Hotel Experience
There are many signs the universe gives you that you’re getting old. New aches like a knee that’s now very high maintenance and wrinkles that are so deep you fear they could germinate wildflower seeds. […]
Going on a Vacation When You Find Humanity Annoying
Alas, I’m still blabbing about my vacation. It’s not that I even want to be talking about it. But people have asked me questions and I feel like it would be ungracious of me not […]
Dear Snarky – My Wedding Gown Is MIA
Dear Snarky, A year ago, my future mother in law pressured me to go to her sister’s bridal shop for my wedding gown. I didn’t really want to do this because I had already found […]
The Travel Award Goes To . . .
I’ve just returned from a trip to Europe and it was an interesting experience. But never fear, I’m not about to do a travelogue. The reason is because no one would want to read that, […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom’s Boyfriend has a Camera Problem
Dear Snarky My mom and her boyfriend are visiting for three weeks. I love having her here and I love that her boyfriend has helped her find happiness again. But the boyfriend takes pictures all […]
Three Random Thoughts are Hurting My Brain
I’m in a thought cycle where three random tidbits won’t stop swirling in my brain. It’s annoying and even worse the more these thoughts swirl the more I fear they’re making grooves in my prefrontal […]
The Bad Dad, Homewrecker Barbie & the Hysterical Bride
Dear Snarky, I’m having a huge issue with my daughter’s wedding and I need advice from a woman my age who seems a little kick assy and I think that’s you. My daughter is getting […]
Death by Legos and Killer Yoga
There’s been many times in my life where I feel like my children have tried to kill me. I vividly remember my first brush with death courtesy of one of my kids. It was when […]
Dear Snarky – I Agreed to Help My Sister with Her New Baby But I Didn’t Know I Would Also Be Her Husband’s Maid
Dear Snarky, I feel like I was taken advantage of by my sister and her husband. My sister just had a baby and before the birth she asked me if after the baby was born […]
Dear Snarky – My Boyfriend Gambled Away Our Nest Egg
Dear Snarky, I’m angry and devastated because I’ve recently discovered that my boyfriend of four years blew all of our nest egg of more than $10 grand on Super Bowl bets. He drunkenly confessed this to […]
I’m Competitive About Not Being Competitive
I’m not a very competitive person and I don’t think it’s because I’m lazy. It’s more like I’m protective of my time and perhaps feelings. Plus I’ve always been a big fan of doing a […]
Dear Snarky – The Tootsie Pop Police
Dear Snarky, I’m having a real problem with the mother of one of my daughter’s friends. Last week I was driving my car while I had a lollipop in my mouth. I had been to […]
Rooting for True Love on Super Bowl Sunday 💖
I’m going to admit something that I shouldn’t. I love the Chiefs, but I don’t know a lot about the Chiefs. I know they’re awesome and that Patrick Mahomes is the GOAT and that’s been […]
Dear Snarky – I Need My Son & His Fiancée to Move Out!
Dear Snarky, In March of 2020 when the world shut down my son came home on spring break from college and then graduated virtually in the spring of 2020. We allowed my college age son’s […]
Maid Of Honor Shakedown
Dear Snarky, One of my best friends has asked me to be the maid of honor in her wedding. I was thrilled until she told me that being her maid of honor meant that I […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 