Dear Snarky – Coronavirus = Family Fury

*Almost all of the letters I’ve gotten the past several days have, in some way, been about the coronavirus. So, because of this strange time we’re living in I decided to answer a couple of letters this week. Please note these letters have been edited for length and language. 

Dear Snarky,

 I have informed my family that I will not be attending my cousin’s destination wedding over Memorial Day weekend because of Covid-19. This made my aunt lose it and now even my own mother is telling me I’m overreacting because she is sure it will all be over with by May.

But, I don’t want to take any chances and to be honest I’m not really that close to my cousin. She’s always been a bit of jerk. Please give me some courage to stand up to my family.

 Signed, Not Feeling Like a Wedding

Dear Not Feeling,

I think with everything that is happening in the world right now you have every right to make a decision that is tempered with caution and not feel badly about it. Also by giving the bride’s family two months notice it’s not like you’re bailing at the last minute.

I would stay strong and stick by your decision. But remember that the bride and her mom are probably freaking out and worried about possibly having to cancel the wedding, so I suggest treating them with kindness as you stand by your decision.

Dear Snarky,

 My sister’s super shady husband is hoarding Clorox wipes and Lysol. It’s disgusting. He’s the loser you see cleaning off all the shelves at Walmart. I took a picture of the bedroom in his home where he’s stockpiling and I want to post it on social media and shame him. Can you please talk me out of this because I’m this close to letting loose the internet on him?

 Signed, Let’s do This

Dear Lets,

You 100 percent know you can’t do this because it will hurt your sister. The Internet is mean and dangerous and as much as you hate your brothers-in-law’s lack of moral character and concern for public health you can’t unleash the fury of the Internet on her or any children they may have. Trust me when I tell you it will not end well for anyone.

Why don’t you instead start secretly taking some of his stash and donate it to a charity. You got in the room to take a picture so I’m thinking you probably would have the time to take some of the products and try to do some good with them as you wait for karma to kick in.

You could also reach out to law enforcement and see if they would have a come to Jesus talk with your brother-in-law about how his hoarding is impacting public health. If he starts selling any of this stash and price gouging that is against the law and he could be charged under the Deceptive Trade Practices-Consumer Protection Act.

 Dear Snarky,

 We just cancelled our family reunion spring break trip because of the coronavirus and now it looks like some relatives are trying to stick me with the hotel bill. I made the hotel reservations with my credit card back in October and then when everyone was going to check in they would use their own credit card for their rooms.

The problem is when I went to cancel the rooms the hotel hit us with a sizeable cancellation fee that was charged to my card.

 I sent an email to everyone telling them what their room cancellation fee are and now three family members are saying they don’t have to pay me back because I made the room reservations so it’s “on me.”

 I am livid. Any suggestions how I can get my money?

 Signed, Unbelievable

Dear Unbelievable,

Ah family, what a joy. My suggestion is to enlist the other relatives that have paid you to help you harass, cajole, whatever these dead beats to pay up. Their behavior is totally unacceptable and sadly it will harm the dynamics of the family moving forward because nothing ruins family relationships like disagreements over money.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉