Dear Snarky – The F Bombing In-Laws

Dear Snarkycursing

I want to boycott my husband’s family for Christmas day. I have a three-year old son and at Thanksgiving certain family members were dropping F-bomb’s non stop. The final straw was when my son, at a religious pre-school, told the principal he couldn’t wait to see F’ing Santa Claus. I was so embarrassed when the teacher told me this.

My husband and I don’t curse at all and especially not in front of our son, but his side of the family are potty mouths and I’m tired of telling everyone to stop swearing around my child. Do you think it’s too drastic to just say home and enjoy a clean Christmas?

Signed, Furious

Dear Furious, 

Forget about the clean Christmas idea. Go and bring a swear jar. In a couple of hours you’ll probably have enough F’ing money to start a college fund for your son.3d16742a0c65b6409ca767c57be46c83

Here’s the hard truth – your husband’s family are probably going to keep on cursing. It’s a bad habit that more and more people don’t see anything wrong with. (Full disclosure time – yes, I curse and I do enjoy deploying the F bomb on occasion, but I do not swear in front of kids that aren’t my own.)

Now that that’s out of the way – you along with your husband (that’s right make him man up and do it with you) should make the attempt to explain to everyone that your son is now old enough to mimic their vocabulary choices and that they have to show some verbal discipline when they’re around children. There’s a 50/50 chance that might work. If it doesn’t you need to explain to your son that there are certain words he’s going to hear that’s he’s NEVER allowed to repeat. 

 I also suggest getting everyone a dictionary and bar of soap for Christmas. The dictionary is to expand their word family and the soap for washing out their mouths. Maybe that will drive your point home. 

If you have a question for Dear Snarky 21st Century Advice with an Attitude email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky FB page.

 

Dear Snarky – Help, I Threw My Husband’s Family Overboard

Dear Sndear_snarky_logo-1arky,

 I’m about to be disowned by my extended family. Yesterday, I anonymously called the cops on my husband’s relatives. They go out in their ski boats and NEVER have any of the kids in life jackets. It’s so dangerous I won’t let my two children ride in the boats with them.

 We were all at the lake for a Memorial Day family thing and I just got sick of seeing my in-laws – mother, father, brothers, sisters just let all the kids ride in very fast boats that don’t even have one F’ing life jacket. So, I called 911 and reported them. Fast forward 2 hours later and they come back to the dock after being given multiple tickets by the boat cops and they’re facing a fine.

 My brother-in-law might even have to do jail time because the police, when they got on the boat, found an unregistered gun “hidden” under some ski tow lines.

 I said nothing about my part in this until my sister-in-law got a hold of my cell phone (without me knowing BTW) and went through my call history for the day which was only one number – 911 and figured out that I had called the cops on them.

 Now no one is speaking to me (after cussing me out) AND they think I should pay the fine since I’m the one who “narced on the them.”

 Do I pay the money to keep peace in the family or do I stand up to them and not care if they’re super pissed?

 Signed, Life jacket Mom

 Dear Life jacket, 

 There’s a lot going on here so let’s break this down:

 1)You are right kids should wear life jackets. It’s the law. In fact, as a former lifeguard, I think everyone should wear a life jacket on a boat

2)You’re relatives are idiots/lazy/cheap for not having any life jackets on their ski boats.

3)I love that you called the police!

 Yep, family harmony be damned if you repeatedly told this collection of nitwits to get some flipping life jackets on their boats and if they just kept on blowing you off then I see what you did as an act of love. You just wanted to keep them safe. It was a hug disguised as a phone call to the cops.

 So, that’s a great big no on paying any fine and as for your BIL with the unregistered gun, well there’s a juicy Facebook status update. Maybe he’s a hit man who shoots people on his boat and them dumps their bodies in the lake. (Where’s a CSI team when you need them?) Seriously, keep me posted on how this plays out. 

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice with an Attitude – please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or send me a private message on my Snarky FB page.

 

Dear Snarky – Grandmother-In-Law Problems

Dear Snarky,dear_snarky_logo-1

My husband is very close with his grandma. Actually, all the males in the family are close with her. However, all the females in the family despise this woman. She’s very sexist, and her comments are often justified by “she’s just old-fashioned.” I don’t buy it. I’ve yet to meet a woman who is a total jerk because they’re “old-fashioned.”

She constantly tells women their “place” in the household and expects the females to do everything for the men without help.

I love my husband but I’m afraid to hurt him by telling him that I cannot stand this woman and do not want to see her. What do I do about my crazy grandmother in law?

Signed, Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

It sounds like you have less of a grandmother-in-law issue and more of a husband problem. Of course all the men in the family adore her. She’s probably been mandating spoiling these dudes all their lives. If you’re them what’s not to like about that?

 What these now grown ass men (and specifically your husband) need to do is put on their big boy britches and stand up for their wives. No more hiding behind grandma skirts and pretending they don’t see what’s going on.

 I’m not advocating being mean to a granny. What I am saying is that your husband needs to start being firm with his grandmother by letting her know that he has zero tolerance for anyone disrespecting the love of his life – that’s you by the way not his nana – just in case you were confused.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky FB page.