Dear Snarky – Go Fund Me Is Ruining Our Family

Dear Sndear_snarky_logoarky,

My sister is embarrassing the entire family! She’s addicted to setting up Go Fund Me accounts. So, far she’s set up accounts for raising money to get a new dog to help her kids “deal with grief.” She’s also done one for a trip to Disney World and her latest Go Fund Me is asking for donations to buy a new car so her family has “safe and reliable transportation.” Are you kidding me? She already has a nice car.

My other three sisters and I told her that if she got a job she could afford all these things without a Go Fund Me page. That’s when she said her job is Go Fund Me! On top on that she’s sending Facebook messages, tweets and emails asking everyone we know to go to her Go Fund Me page, including my boss!!!! Is there anyway we can stop her? It’s so humiliating watching her shake down people for donations.

Signed, So Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed,

 Legally I don’t think you can send your sister a Go Fund Me cease and desist letter, but I urge your family to stage an intervention. Sit your sister down and tell her there are better ways to get money than asking family, friends, friends of family for a hand out and that Go Fund Me begging is not really a career choice. Also, explain that if she keeps on using your social media friend base as her source for funds you’re going to block her from all your  accounts. In fact, you might want to do that right now.

 Then you need to ask her if anything besides greed is driving her. Is this a cry for help? Is everything okay at home? Basically does she get a high from Go Fund Me.  See what she says or doesn’t say and then gather your sisters around and draw up a plan of action to help your sister help herself. Lastly, don’t be that embarrassed. We all have family members who do things that make us cringe and want to change our last name. Basically welcome to the club.

Dear Snarky – My Sister-In-Law’s Family Ruined Christmas

f784f548f08fa691c849dbf4f8b634c1Dear Snarky,

Thank God, I’m finally home after spending Christmas at my sister-in-law’s house. It was a disaster. I’ve never met such a cliquey group of people before. Her entire family separated themselves from the rest of the guests the entire day. If everyone was in the family room they would be in living room. If you tried to mingle with them you would pretty much get ignored. It was unbelievably uncomfortable.

I told my husband I’m never subjecting myself to another Christmas day like that again and while he agreed with me that his brother’s wife relatives are F’ing nuts he told me we just had to deal with it because it’s family.

Umm, it’s not my family and his sister-in-law’s relatives are not his family so I think next year and the year after that etc we can just take a pass on Christmas with this bunch of cold fish.

What do you think Snarky I’m a right?

Signed,

Still Pissed

Dear Pissed,

The big old extended family get together is one of those things that sounds good in theory, (like buying your pants too small to encourage you to lose weight) but in reality it can be a hot mess (i.e. you now have no pants to wear). Sure it’s supposed to be all Hallmark Channel lovey dovey, but it never seems to work out that way.

And in your case you really were spending time with almost strangers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if the strangers are open to becoming friends, but it seems your sister-in-law’s family wanted nothing to do with the co-mingling of kin.

That was a long way of me saying that I agree with 100%. Having to experience an awkward Christmas every year is no fun and who made your sister-in-law the Queen of the holidays? Another good questions is why do you have to have Christmas at her house every year? Wouldn’t it be more fair and, dare I say, more fun if it rotated?

I would suggest all this now while the memory of the crappy Christmas is still fresh in everyone’s mind and get some sort of action plan for next year and beyond in place.

Also, because families can have, shall we say, varied interpretations of the facts I would do this all via email so you have a “hard” copy of the discussion. This will serve as evidence so no one next December can pull a “What are you talking about I didn’t agree to this?” stunt. If and when this happens all you will need to do is share the time stamped and dated emails to shut them down.

*If you have questions for Dear Snarky please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or click on the Snarky Facebook icon at the top right hand corner of this page and send me a private message on Facebook.

P.S. You’re going to have to relike Snarky on Facebook since my site got hacked.

Dear Snarky – Still Stuck at the Kiddie Table for Thanksgiving

Dear Snarky,10384343_1569011313310456_5708472324052755564_n

I’m going with my fiancé to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving. We have been dating for three years and for the past two years his mother has made me sit at the kids’ table. Hello, I’m 26 years old! This Thanksgiving I’m sure she is going to pull this stunt again. Should I stand up for myself and refuse to eat at the kiddie table (that is not even in the dining room BTW) or do I suck it up and not cause a scene?

Signed, Turkey Trouble

Dear Turkey,

 First off, I feel the need to offer you some premarital advice. Are you sure you want to a marry a man who can’t pull on his big boy britches and tell his mother that his soon to be wife will be dining at the same table as the rest of the adults? Also, your future mother-in-law sounds like a handful so be sure, very, very, sure you’re ready to marry into that kind of drama.

 As for the kids’ table – I would happily sit there and own it! Bring some cute crafts for your fellow diners and have a blast while counting your blessings that you’re not stuck eating with the adults who no doubt are either grousing about the country going to hell in a hand basket or Aunt Shirley’s and Uncle Stewart’s recent couple’s colonoscopies.

 Your bliss (faux or real) at eating with the kids will also show your future MIL not to mess with you because whatever shade she throws your way you’re going to turn it into a rainbow. 

 If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With An Attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page.