Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law Thought Helping Out After I Just Had a Baby Was Supposed to Be a Vacation

Dear Snarky,xmjr57fd2hwy

 I can’t believe the latest stunt my mother-in-law pulled. I just had my second baby (my first is only 18 months old) and my mother-in- law literally begged to come stay with us and help. I was hesitant because she’s not exactly grandmother of the year, but my husband said we should give his mom a chance to redeem herself. The entire two weeks she was here she did nothing except complain that she was bored and ask when were we going to “finally” do something fun. 

 Then after she left she posted on Facebook that it was the “worst vacation ever.” WTH? Who thinks offering to help your daughter-in-law after she just had a baby is going to be a vacation?

 I told my husband we are done with his mom and he thinks I’m being “postpartum overly emotional” Who’s right here?

 Signed, Not Happy

Dear Not Happy,

You know who needs to take a vacation? You, from your mother-in-law. Perhaps, she doesn’t need to be shunned for life, but you deserve the mental break from having to deal with that hot mess because anyone with a functioning brain stem knows that a “visit” to a house with a new baby and an 18-month-old is not going to be cocktails on the beach. 

Also, it sounds like your husband has some mommy issues and feels like he needs to defend her behavior – so, my condolences to you. Hopefully, as he matures into, what’s that word, oh yeah, a man he’ll wise up to his mother’s head games.

As for now, let your angry go. Your mother-in-law isn’t worth the emotional investment. You need to focus on the positives – your babies.

Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law Is a Party Pooper

dear_snarky_logoDear Snarky,

I need help! This year my mother in law gave no gift or card to my daughter for her birthday or me for my birthday. My husband’s birthday was just two weeks later and he got a visit at work with a card and a check. I’m so hurt that she would snub my daughter and I and only acknowledge her son. Am I wrong In thinking it should

I’ve asked him to say something, but he won’t. I feel like he’s chosen to protect his mom’s feelings over mine.

Signed, Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

In a perfect world your husband would be a knight in shining armor and set off to vanquish the rude manners of his mother BUT in the real world he’s going to next to nothing. So, it’s up to you to make the best of a bad situation. This is why I suggest going out and buying yourself your own present from your MIL. Take whatever amount she gave your husband and treat yourself to something fun. 

Now your daughter is a different story and as her mom you need to protect her innocence. So, I would buy your child a present and say it’s from her grandma and then have your daughter write a lovely thank you note to your mother in-law. When your MIL asks you why she got a thank you for a gift she didn’t buy you can explain that you wanted to shield your daughter from knowing her grandma is a jerk.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky 21st Century Advice With An Attitude please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or send me a private message on my Snarky Facebook page.