Dear Snarky – Revenge of the Spray Tan

Dear Snarky,

I’m writing this letter to you while I’m orange. Yes, orange because I was given a spray tan by a FRIEND who, out of spite, turned me orange. The back-story is I started dating a guy she had broken up with more than six months ago. I even asked her if it was okay with her if I went out with him. She said yes and told me it was no big deal. So, we started dating and this weekend he’s taking me to his cousin’s wedding which is why I got a spray tan from her. I didn’t know she was secretly pissed off at me and her revenge would be giving me a spray tan that would turn me pumpkin f’ing orange!

I’ve taken pictures of my orange spray tan and want to shame her business publicly on social media because people should know she’s crazy but our mutual friends say I should let it go because she’s “suffering from the break up.” Umm, the break up was her doing and it was months ago. Also, all of this is easy for them to say because they’re not ORANGE!

What do you think Snarky?

Signed, Orange and Angry

Dear Orange,

First, I hope you googled how to get rid of a bad spray tan and you no longer resemble Ernie from Sesame Street. As for embarking on a social media shaming campaign I’m conflicted. Does a woman who runs a spray tan business and purposely turns people orange need to be outed? Yes. But, for you to do this means that you’re going to be adding rocket fuel to her crazy and the whole situation is going to get blown up.

Are you ready to be engaging with her on social media and dealing with what I’m sure are going to be threats and accusations of you stealing her boyfriend (never mind that she dumped him)? Also, a woman who would turn somebody orange is going to have zero compunction lying and saying that she didn’t do it and that you photoshopped the pictures because you’re trying to ruin her business after you stole her boyfriend. (Are you sensing a theme here?) 

Because I believe in living a life where you look forward not backwards I would wash off that orange spray tan and let that and your “friend” go down the drain. This means don’t engage. It’s not worth it and it would be a HUGE emotional time suck. Instead live your life without her in it and most definitely find a new place to get a spray tan.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky “Advice With An Attitude” email snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com 😉

10 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – Revenge of the Spray Tan

  1. Jenn says:

    I would find out what agency regulates and licences her salon and file a complaint with them. And then exfoliate. a LOT.

    • Jeanine McCaffrey says:

      But, could she file a complaint anonymously? Would she have to describe the reason for the complaint? If the complaint has to state the reason for the complaint, your “friend” will know it’s you complaining, unless she’s turned anyone else orange lately.

  2. A.W. says:

    A part of me wants this woman to go after her friend that turned her orange because if she doesn’t than the jerks win again but I understand the power in just moving forward and living your life without engaging with crazy.

  3. Dena Rymel says:

    Boringly, that also opens you up to claims of libel (whether or not it’s true) if she owns a business related to tanning. Better safe than sorry. Plus, it might make YOU look bad, and she’s definitely the hussy here! Rock that tan, darlin’.

  4. Bobbi Combs says:

    I would probably address it via private messaging with her, remembering everything nowadays can be screen-shot – not necessarily on her public forum. I think you should remind her that you asked first and took her at her word. She is the one who needs to check her own motive.

    • Jenny E says:

      I think private messaging could easily be turned around on the innocent party.

      Keeping it public provides witnesseses

      I think I’d take the high road because there’s zero to gain. An apology? A refund? A mark on her spray tan license? Not gonna happen.

      Have fun with the romance an let this bitter lady go.

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