Dear Snarky – I Don’t Want My Sister (The “One Upper”) To Be In My Wedding

429d4ed99491a83e17d815657b9caff3Dear Snarky,

 I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in a human being. At Thanksgiving dinner, with my entire family, my boyfriend and I announced that we were engaged. Before the first person could even get out a congratulations my sister blurted out that she was pregnant with her first child. Of course it then became all about my sister.

 At Christmas I found out that my sister was never pregnant and that she mistakenly thought she was and wanted to share the “happy news.” When I asked her if she had even taken a pregnancy test she said no she just “felt pregnant.”  

 I think she “just felt” that she has to always be the center of attention. That’s her thing – one upping everyone.

 I’m so angry I told my mother there is no way my sister is going to be my maid of honor, let alone a bridesmaid, because she has a history of making every event all about her. My mom says my sister has to be my maid of honor because she’s family. My fiancé says we’re paying for our own wedding and I should do exactly what I want.

 Do you agree? I need a non-family opinion.

 Signed, The Bitter Bride

Dear Bitter,

 Girl, I’m on Team Bride! It’s your wedding, your day and your money. You have the right to select bridesmaids who are your best friends and don’t go out of their way to aggressively hurt your feelings. I’ve been to a couple of weddings where a sister wasn’t a bridesmaid. It happens.

 Although, I have to point out that since your sister suffers from some sort of narcissistic disorder she’s probably going to do something to make herself the center of attention regardless of whether or not she’s in the wedding party. So, brace yourself for that scenario.

 I suggest if you want to totally eliminate drama that you consider the option of a very romantic elopement. Bonus – you’ll save a ton of money!

*If you have a question for Dear Snarky, “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or send me a PM on the Snarky FB page. 😉

Dear Snarky – My Friend is Marrying “Mr. No F’ing Fun”

Dear SnarkyBRIDESMAID

I’m one of six bridesmaids in a longtime friend’s wedding and half of us feel like we need to do an intervention because we feel like our friend is settling in her choice of a husband.  The groom is quite frankly a huge med school nerd and behind his back we call him “No F’ing Fun.”  The bride used to be a blast to party with and was always the girl with the hottest guys. Now, we’re lucky if we can get her to drink and she said no to a girl’s trip to Vegas for her bachelorette party. It’s killing us to see our friend change her personality for a man.

Signed, Bummed Out Bridesmaid

Dear Bummed Out,

 The short answer is no to an intervention and yes to keeping your mouth shut and only using it to smile during the wedding. Have you thought about that maybe your friend, the bride, is growing up and that she doesn’t want to get drunk every night? That maybe she was getting tired of partying and welcomes a more stable relationship not based on booze? And that maybe she said no to a trip to Vegas because she didn’t want to incur the expense or ask her bridesmaids’ to pony up more money?

 Remember just because you think the groom is “no fun” doesn’t mean he’s not going to be a great husband. And your idea of what “settling is” could be vastly different from your friend’s. 

Now if, on the off chance, the bride is reshaping her personality to please her future husband because he’s a control freak your best bet is sit down with your friend and say, “I’m happy if you’re happy,  but remember if you ever need me I’m here for you no matter what.”  That’s the way to have your friends back without her feeling ganged up on or judged.