Dear Snarky – I was invited to a virtual bridal shower that I think is a shakedown for cash

Dear Snarky,

A sorority sister sent me an Evite to a virtual wedding shower. The Evite suggests that instead of gifts we Venmo her money. The reason she gave is that she didn’t want to put a “strain on the delivery service by having people send gifts.”

She says she’s throwing herself a virtual shower because she still “wanted to celebrate her love” and we shouldn’t let the coronavirus “steal our joy.”

The kick in the ass is that this woman’s wedding isn’t until February of 2021. Who throws themselves a bridal shower almost a year before the wedding? My Evite RSVP was that I wasn’t “going” to her virtual shower because I didn’t appreciate the “shake down” for cash 13 months before her wedding.

I guess because people are bored the whole thing blew up and the bride played the boo hoo card and said that I’ve “devastated her and her character.”

Who’s right here?

Signed, Guess who got disinvited from the wedding

Dear Disinvited,

The short answer is not only are you right but you’re RIGHT IN ALL CAPS. The bride has no character to devastate because her behavior is reprehensible. Who during a pandemic where people have lost their jobs or are worried about their jobs and, oh yeah, NOT DYING, sends out a virtual shower invitation asking for cash? Never mind that the wedding is a freaking year away.

To further add to my arsenal of hostility is the wording of the Evite where the bride acts like she’s doing the Lord’s work by pointing out the cash is good because she doesn’t want to “put a strain on the delivery service.” Yeah, right. Cue the world’s largest eye roll. Cash is good because she’s a greedy witch.

As for the whole “steal our joy” B.S. – by “steal our joy” does she mean let’s use a worldwide health crisis to make some money?

Consider yourself lucky to be disinvited. This bride sounds she’s riding shotgun on the Hot Mess Express. Trust me on this – the wedding will be an epic train wreck.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at 😉





9 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – I was invited to a virtual bridal shower that I think is a shakedown for cash

  1. Carly says:

    What a POS! I hope no one sends this bride any $. To be getting married in 2021 and have the nerve to throw yourself a virtual wedding shower and ask for cash during these difficult times is just gross. To the letter writer I say bravo for calling the bride out. I hope other people do the same.

  2. Random Thoughts says:

    I totally agree for this particular bride. Maybe she’s trying to get her gifts now before the social distancing ends her relationship? However, for people whose bridal showers were actually scheduled during this time, a virtual bridal shower might be a lovely idea. We’re all suffering from being stuck in our houses all the time without our family and friends. But you get what you get in terms of gifts!

  3. Susie Uppman says:

    I think Emily Post is rolling in her grave. I don’t care what the circumstances….no one throws their own wedding (or baby) shower! Shoot – even family members aren’t technically supposed to throw showers.

    “Who may host a shower?
    It had long been considered a breach of etiquette for the bride’s family members to host showers. Why? Because the main point of a shower is to give gifts to the bride and it could seem as if her family were asking for gifts. Today, while it’s still a faux pas for an engaged couple to throw their own shower, pretty much anyone else can host one. Family members frequently step in to host showers, especially when common sense dictates such a solution. For example, the bride may be visiting her future in-laws and the groom’s mother or sister wants to invite hometown friends and family to meet her. Or, the bridal party is spread around the country and it’s difficult to pinpoint a common geographic location to gather and celebrate. Sometimes several of the bride’s friends or relatives may host the shower together, sharing the expenses and the organizing. Let individual circumstances be your guide when determining who should serve as host.”

  4. rawgod says:

    A bit late and a dollar short: What if everyone donated money to her as requested, and six months later the “happy couple” split up for irreconcilable differences. Would she return all the money (probably already spent), or would she just ignore doing so because she is so heartbroken that she needs to go on a shopping spree to help getting over the break-up.
    I have no idea what Emily Post would say, but showers or stags 6 months or more before the wedding are ridiculous, arrogant, and greedy, IMHO.I’d think three months in advance should be sufficient. Unless she is already pregnant.

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