Dear Snarky – More Cheer Mama Drama

Screen Shot 2015-04-24 at 9.53.02 AMDear Snarky,

 My daughter is a varsity cheerleader at her high school and why that is great I’m afraid most of the cheer moms now hate me.

 The reason is I got sick of the flyer mom clique acting all high and mighty because their daughters get thrown in the air. My daughter is a base and these moms make snide remarks all the time because they think the bases, who they call the “big girls” “just stand there” and hold the “real cheerleaders.”

 So. Over. It.

 Without strong girls as the base their kids wouldn’t get thrown in the air or worse could be dropped. So after a whole year of putting up with this at the cheer banquet I jokingly mentioned to one mom that she better shut up or just maybe my daughter wouldn’t catch her daughter the next time she’s thrown in the air.

 Well, now that comment has turned into a mom shit storm. Any advice I how I can repair the damage?

Signed, Sad Cheer Mom

Dear Sad,

 First, you should never ever joke about the safety of another child. I get it. You were angry. You had put up with this nonsense all year. Seriously, moms forming cliques and pecking orders based on what position their kid is on the cheer squad – totally cray. (Not as cray as the Texas woman who put out a hit on another cheer mom, but good mental health does seem to be in limited supply when dealing with some of these pom-pom parents.)

 As I see it your best course of action is do a group apology via email. Let all the moms know that your comment was taken out of context and that your daughter would NEVER intentionally drop a teammate nor would you EVER want her too. State how proud you are of your strong daughter, her teammates etc.

 Keep your fingers crossed that during the summer this all blows over. Based on the level of deluxe crazy I’ve seen with cheer moms I’m thinking something else will happen soon, like one of the moms wearing her daughter’s cheer outfit to the grocery store, (yeah, that happened in my town. There was a mom just shopping at Trader Joe’s wearing her kids cheer outfit. The only thing missing was the big ole bow) to get the heat off of you.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” please email me at or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page.

8 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – More Cheer Mama Drama

  1. KMK says:

    Maybe I am a meanie, but I LMAO’d over the cheer mom comment. Can’t people take a joke? I’m a former cheer mom, and my very strong daughter was a base. I was too worried about her getting kicked in the head by a clumsy flyer to pickup on any other base/flyer drama. Thank God.

  2. Former Cheer Mom says:

    Thank God I’m no longer a cheer mom! They are the worst. My daughter was also a base and yes moms do think their little 90 lb darling is the REAL cheerleader. My daughter now runs cross country and I couldn’t be happier to be out of that pit of moms who still want to be in high school.

  3. RachelRae says:

    I never cheered, even though my phys. ed. teacher tried sooo hard to make me; somewhere out there is pic of me in full cheer regalia with an extremely p.o.’d face because it was that teachers idea of a final project/joke to make me live one day as a cheerleader.
    I always felt bad for the bases. The flying acts remind me of that phrase, unless you are the lead dog, the view never changes. 🙂

  4. Jean says:

    I coach our rec cheer squad and I make sure that they all know that without the support of each other, none of them would be able to accomplish any stunts on their own. Sure people ooh & ahh over the girls that get tossed in the air, but how do you think they get there? Trust and respect for your lifting group is a must, I don’t put up with any prima donna attitudes!

  5. Molly says:

    Seriously? Why should she apologize? If the other mom’s have been bullying the ‘big girls’ for a year…what’s the difference? WTF? Moreover I think it speaks to the quality of character in the women who’ve berated other students for so long. Move on. Life’s too short.

    • snarkyinthesuburbs says:

      I suggested she apologize because in the letter she asked for advice on how to “repair the damage.” An apology seemed the only way to make that happen and to shut down the cheer mom b.s. about what she said.

  6. Marylisa64 says:

    I would apologize too, but with an addition. Go to the bi-weekly flyer-mom pow wow (you know that’s a thing…they meet in the way back corner of Starbucks after yoga/Pilates/spinning), and tell them you were sorry for the comment. BUT, use this time to explain that your daughter provides their daughter the support needed to do the flying thing. Every pilot needs air traffic control. It’s not glamorous, but it’s just as important. And end said speech with “Don’t you agree?” I promise you none of these moms will have the spine to say “no”. They don’t like to be confronted in person.

  7. Terri says:

    My daughter is 8 years old and in her first year of cheer. She is a flyer but I haven’t seen any flyer-mom vs non-flyer-mom drama. To tell you the truth, I don’t like her being a flyer. It seems like since she got moved into that position some of the other girls are treating her different…not as friendly, etc. I also don’t love the idea of other 8-year-olds catching her. Trust me, I have a ton of respect for those little girls that risk a foot to the face to catch my baby. I would like some input on how to advise my girl as to what to do about the other girls changing their attitude since she got moved to flyer.

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