Dear Snarky – Kill Me Now Because My Office Has “12 Days of Secret Santa”

Dear Snarky,screen-shot-2016-11-14-at-9-51-05-am

Hip, hip, hooray it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I’ve already gotten the instructions for the office “12 Days of Secret Santa.” I seriously want to hurl. The rule is no gift should be over $5, but since I work at suck up central everyone ignores that rule and goes over the top, for 12 whole days, with their gifts.

I need your help because I can’t afford to spend a bunch of money on my co-workers and I’m afraid this is going to kill me in the office politics game.

Signed, Scrooge

Dear Scrooge,

I have a couple of thoughts.

1) Take some vacation days during the Secret Santa extravaganza and use that as an excuse for not participating as in – “Wow I’d love to do this, but since I’m not going to be in the office the entire time I feel like it wouldn’t be fair to the Santa of it all.”

2) Do the Secret Santa and follow the rules. Give only gifts that don’t exceed $5 and trust me if you go on Pinterest you’ll discover a North Pole worthy list of ideas on how to do this with good cheer and thoughtfulness.

3) If you feel like you’re getting attitude for following the rules use it as the kick in the pants you need to find a new job and put that on your 2017 resolution list. Because if co-workers and management are getting their tinsel in a tangle because you didn’t treat the Secret Santa as an opportunity to kiss ass then you need out of that environment sooner than later. That’s not just a red flag it’s a sleigh dropping on your head telling you that you should run not walk to the land of updated resumes and your  LinkedIn page.

*If you have a question for Dear Snarky, “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky FB page. 😉

Dear Snarky – My Secret Santa Gift to My Boss is Coming Back to Bite Me In the Ass

Dear Snarky,dear_snarky_logo

 I think the Secret Santa gift I gave my boss may end up costing me my job. In December everyone in the company drew names for Secret Santa. I got my boss and the gift rules were something funny and under $20. I thought it would be hilarious to give my boss the Walmart version of Spanx.

 She seemed okay when she opened the gift and sort of  laughed. But last week I got a horrible year-end performance review and a couple of my co-workers say it’s because I insulted my boss by giving her an XL tummy shaper. What should I do? I don’t want to lose my job.

 Signed, Not Unemployed Yet

Dear Not Unemployed,

 Let me get this straight – you thought is was okay to give your boss an extra-large girdle and to add insult to injury you did this in front of the entire office. I’m surprised she didn’t fire you on the spot. You pretty much violated every rule of business decorum and even worse you hurt your boss’s feelings. Your gift wasn’t funny it was mean-spirited.

 You need to immediately go and apologize to your boss explaining that in retrospect you realize your gift was out of line and that you in no way meant to hurt her feelings. Then after that groveling episode I would start looking for another job because I have a feeling your boss is never really going to like you – ever. I also suggest taking a class or reading a book about how to get ahead in the work place because you definitely need some help.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page. :