Dear Snarky My Sister Doesn’t Give a Shit

Dear Snarky,

I’ve got a summer family feud brewing. My sister is doing some ridiculous thing called “free training” her bScreen Shot 2018-06-15 at 1.21.07 PMaby. This is when your baby never wears a diaper and just does his business anywhere. It’s supposed to be a gentler form of potty training. To each his own, but my problem is when my sister’s family stayed at my house over Memorial Day weekend and my “free training” nephew used not only my entire home as his bathroom, but he also pooped in the pool resulting in us having to do a shock treatment and making the pool unusable for most of the long weekend.

All of this made me dis-invite my sister and her family for July 4th. My sister is now furious and is accusing me of not respecting her parenting style.

I need to shut this down now. Any advice?

Signed, What’s Wrong with a Diaper?

Dear Diaper,

The only way to shut this down is to give in to your sister and I strongly suggest you don’t do that. Because here’s the deal – just because someone has a preferred parenting style doesn’t mean they can subject the rest of the world to it.

It is totally your sister’s own business if she doesn’t want to put a diaper on her son and let him view his home and yard as one great big toilet. It’s whole other box of Pampers if she feels it’s okay for her off spring to soil property outside of their home. Beyond the disgusting factor, which is off the charts high, it’s also a public health issue.

The fact that your sister thought it was okay to let her child defecate all over your home makes me think she’s about 10 kinds of crazy. Do not cave on this issue. Just tell her that you respect your home more than her parenting style.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Parenting Advice With an Attitude – please email

Dear Snarky – I Got Thanksgiving Dinner Dumped In My Lap

215313-grumpy-cat-funny-thanksgiving-quote-about-familyDear Snarky,

I feel like my family is taking advantage of me – again. I have a large extended family and we rotate who hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year my brother and his wife were supposed to do Thanksgiving, but now they’ve backed out and want me to do it.  

I hosted Thanksgiving last year and I’m already doing Christmas so there’s no way I want to be saddled with another holiday. Everyone is acting like it’s no big deal for me to do Thanksgiving AND Christmas, no matter how much I tell them that it’s a huge amount of work and expense.

Help me get out of this without my family thinking I’m a bitch.

Signed, Doormat

Dear Doormat,

I see absolutely nothing wrong with your family thinking you’re a bitch if that means a woman who stands her ground. Maybe it’s time to trade in the doormat label and upgrade to a no means no kind of relative. Remember the saying no one can take advantage of you without your permission.

It sounds like you’ve given your family lots of permission to think of you as someone they can dump all their obligations on. Here’s your chance to change your destiny and all you have to do is say no.

Sure at first your family with be shocked and then attempt to turbo guilt you into changing your mind. When that doesn’t work some members may get a little mean or fake an illness. (Oh wait, sorry that’s my family I’m talking about.) But don’t let anyone browbeat you into doing something you don’t want to do.

You’ve done more than your fair share of playing host for the holidays and it’s time for a) other relatives to step up or b) maybe all of this is a sign that your family is ready for a change and perhaps it’s time to take break from the huge kinsfolk holiday tradition.

Just imagine a Thanksgiving at a restaurant or even better on a beach.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – “21st Century Advice With an Attitude” email me at or private message me on my Snarky FB page. 😉