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Category: Mom Social Media Throwdown

Calm Yourself

September 3, 20155 Comments

01-lotto-magic-social-72“Calm yourselves.” That’s what I wanted to say to a group of mothers I was eavesdropping on while I let my dogs enjoy the olfactory wonder that is playground wood mulch.

These women, pushing toddlers on swings, were in a tizzy over the latest Pinterest something or other that showed you how to create “reading trees” for your child.

The whole thing sounded very labor intensive. Once they mentioned crafting a tree out of cast off twigs spray painted to match your kid’s room, I was tuning out. By the time they got to glue gunning the twigs to a base I was ready to walk away, but stayed long enough to hear one mom explain how she re-created, in miniature, cover art for each book her child read and then hung the “book” on the tree with hand dyed twine.

Sure, there were a lot of things I wanted to say besides, “Calm yourself” like, “Really, hand dyed twine? Who does that?” And more importantly, “Here’s a craft project for you. What if you spent less time ‘twigging’ and more time actually reading to your kid?”

Alas, because I’m working on minding my own business, I just tugged on my dogs’ leashes and continued my walk.

I, sort of, understand where these moms are coming from. My parenting journey is split into two different spheres.

When my son was born I didn’t own a cell phone and there was no social media. The closest thing we had to Pinterest were scrapbook or “crop” parties where women would get together, have a cocktail, and paste together cutesy photo pages of their kid’s first haircut. In reality it was more like boozing with glue sticks.

A decade, and another child, later it was a different world. Moms posted how many centimeters they were dilated and live tweeted during their children’s birth. Parenting had gone 24/7 show and tell.

It’s like if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it does it make a sound? Except this version is if you’re a mother and no one sees social media posts of your daily triumphs and creations are you really doing a good job?

Today not even a kid’s lunch is safe from a selfie. Have you seen the lunchbox art taking place these days? Parents are Edward Scissorhands. Screw the Smuckers Uncrustable. PB&J sandwiches are now sculpted to resemble Hogwarts with carrots peeled to look like Quidditch brooms.

But is all the time and effort put into creating what amounts to daily pictorial of your parenting worth it? Are you creating any lasting childhood memories or is it just a distraction from doing the hard and often not very photogenic work required to be a parent?

Recently, I asked my son, now in college, what his most profound childhood memories are. Topping the list were my “screaming fits.” Number two was that I had “zero follow through of any punishment” I ever administered. Before he got to number three I stopped him and clarified that I was looking for good memories.

“Oh, that’s easy,” he eagerly replied. “It’s the time we were at a stoplight and you were yelling at Isabella (his sister) and I in the car. So, we rolled down the windows because we noticed the principal was right next to us at the stoplight and he heard and saw you going ballistic. And then, here’s my favorite part, your face when you realized it was the principal’s car next to ours AND that the windows were down!”

I was stunned and also laughing when I said. “That’s your childhood takeaway?”

“Okay, sorry I loved your ‘Lifeguard Sherry’ stories.”

Now, that made me smile. When my kids were little I would make up action adventure stories featuring me as a super hero lifeguard. I wrestled sharks using them as surfboards to save swimmers. I zip lined down ski chair lifts and tamed a grizzly so I can ride him to reach mountain climbers buried under an avalanche.

Then I remember that earlier this year when my 14-year-old daughter was in the hospital I asked her what I could do make her feel better. Her response, “Tell me a Life Guard Sherry story.”

Never would I have guessed that those outlandish tall tales I told would become my kids’ “best of mom” memories.

So moms, seriously, calm yourselves. You don’t have to “post” every moment, you don’t have to make reading trees or origami sandwich art for your child’s lunch box. No kid cares how many likes, retweets, or shares their parents get on social media or that you carved a pineapple to look like the cast from Disney Princesses on Ice and it got 100 repins on Pinterest.

Kids haven’t changed that much. All they really want is your attention or in my case stories about a mom who could surf with sharks and saddle up a bear.

*Attention Snarky Friends, I have a new book out and for a limited time only it’s just 99 cents for a heaping helping of Snark! You are now gazing at the second book in the Snarky in the Suburbs series – Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble In Texas. You can buy it for your Kindle or in paperback on Amazon.  It’s also available for the Nook or you can get it for your Kobo reader. Click on a link and give it a test read.  I hope you like it! 🙂 

 

 

Dear Snarky – Drunk Mean Moms Are Attacking Me On Social Media

August 19, 20152 Comments

Dear Snarkyil_570xN.555846989_neui

Last week were the country club swim and dive championships and there were a group of moms that were getting drunk. They were being loud and obnoxious so I went over to them and in a nice way suggested they switch to drinking ice tea or coffee. One mom got right in my face and started yelling at me.

Now these women have started saying mean things about me on social media and calling me the “sober police.” Do I fight back or just let it blow over? I’m confused how I’m the one who did anything wrong

Signed, Sober Mom

Dear Sober,

Sadly, there’s always a group of women who think alcohol is the fountain of youth. And by that I mean they see drinking as a way to show the world, “Hey, look at me I’m still fun. I can throw back three vodkas, chase it with Chardonnay and act like an idiot.” 

My first reaction is that you did nothing wrong by suggesting a non alcoholic drink alternative. BUT since I wasn’t there I don’t know if you were “Little Miss Perfect” and acted like a sanctimonious ass and could be a smidgen deserving of the backlash. There’s also a chance that your definition of drunk maybe two lengthy swigs of an O’Douls.

For me the bigger and more important question is, if these moms were indeed intoxicated, did someone make sure they weren’t driving home with kids in the car?

As for the mean moms on social media issue I would do nothing. If you get involved all that’s going to do is escalate an issue that will slowly go away if you leave it alone. Trust me, these women will move on to another party, another drink and another target.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky 21st Century Advice with an Attitude please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or send me a private message on the Snarky Facebook page.

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