Dear Snarky,
My sister is threatening to never speak to me again because I “ruined” her relationship with her boyfriend by outing the scam he was perpetrating on shelter dogs.
Her (ex) boyfriend has (had) a decent social media presence built on the lie that he fosters dogs. His Instagram and TikTok are filled with photos and videos of the dogs he “fosters” and it looks like he’s the dog savior. It doesn’t hurt that he’s attractive and does a lot of selfies with the dogs. He’s even gotten some product deals from his social media.
Come to find out he doesn’t foster shit. He “adopts” a dog from a shelter, keeps it for a week – at most and then returns the dog or drops it off at another shelter. This way he can keep showing off new dogs.
When my sister told me this, like it’s no big deal, I flipped out. When I was in college I worked at a veterinarian practice as an assistant to the animal techs and I know that it can be horrible for a dog to be taken in out of different environments, especially if the dog is already anxious.
So, using my contacts I called the vet I worked for when I was in college and told her all of this. She took down my sister’s boyfriend’s name and all the information I had including his social media accountants and then she sent an email to all the local shelters in the entire state and told them to not allow this guy to adopt a dog.
(I didn’t know this but apparently shelters keep a list of people that shouldn’t be allowed to adopt dogs and they share this information with each other.)
Well, when this guy went to a shelter to get another dog and was turned down he got pissed and asked why and the person at the shelter told him he was on the “do not adopt” list. My sister accused me of having something to do with this and I told her I did call a vet friend seeking advice and she took it from there.
To make matters worse for the boyfriend some shelter volunteers found his social media accountants and have been calling him out for being a liar and a “dog renter not a dog fosterer.”
Now, my sister is blaming me for her boyfriend’s dog scam falling apart which led to him breaking up with her. I’m happy about it but how do I get my sister to realize that I saved her from this total loser. We were close before this happened.
Signed, In the Dog House
Dear Dog House,
Is your sister okay? Because to date a guy who’s basically traumatizing dogs to get social media likes is disturbing.
Yes, you most certainly did the right thing to call a veterinarian and report this f’d up jerk’s actions – no doubt about that. And bravo to the vet for getting the word out. As an animal lover and a person who is dog obsessed reading about this made me really angry.
But now you need to focus on your sister. It sounds like she may need therapy. As everyone knows I’m not a psychologist but at the very least your sister has some self-esteem issues that need to be addressed to date a guy like this. Now add in that she refuses to acknowledge what her boyfriend was doing was wrong and is defending him and you’ve got a sure sign that she needs help.
If your family is close, enlist some loved ones to assist you in talking with your sister and gently leading her towards seeking some professional guidance. I’m going to guess this isn’t the first jerk your sister has associated with and hopefully with a supportive family and therapy she can start to build her self-worth.
***
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Snarky in the Suburbs 