Dear Snarky – My Mom is trying to be the Center of Attention at my Wedding

Dear Snarky,

I’m getting married over the Labor Day weekend and I hope I don’t dis-invite my mother to the wedding. She’s gone mother of the bride bridezillla. It started with her insisting that she was going to wear a white gown to my wedding. It got worse when the white gown she picked was a wedding dress. Granted, it’s not a big, poufy Cinderella dress, but still . . .Now, she’s just announced that she’s wearing another dress to the reception and it’s also white and extremely revealing.

I don’t get it. I’ve always had a decent relationship with my mom. She’s loves being the life of the party, but I didn’t think she would also want to be the center of attention at my wedding. (She’s had two weddings of her own already so you would think that she’d be okay not being front and center at her daughter’s wedding.)

How do I get her to calm her ass down and just be the mother of the bride?

Signed, I Can’t Believe I Wrote a Dear Snarky Letter

Dear I Can’t Believe,

First, take solace in the fact that you’re not the first person that has found themselves just a tad aghast that they have turned to Dear Snarky for advice. But, now that you have reached out to me I’m totally here for you.

Let’s begin with that I have a few choice words for your mother. Her behavior is egregious and you have every right to be feeling supremely ticked off. Now, because I know you need more than my rantings I reached out to bridal guru Michael Nolte. I figured this was a question for a professional. Trust me his advice is sooooo much better than what I was going to say. Here’s Michael:

Just like brides can’t filter, even at black-tie wedding that some guy is going to show up in Dockers and his best Tommy Bahama shirt (and that happens!)….don’t let it even surface on your stress radar.

The people who choose to dress inappropriately are never a reflection of YOUR taste, but rather their lack thereof.

I once had a bride’s mother who wore a cheap black sequin gown, with a train, black gloves …and a TIARA! It never dawned on her that it was inappropriate. She walked down the aisle waving at people.

That said you might want to minimize pictures of the “look at me MOB” in your album. In those in which you both need to appear, position someone in a dress in a bright color or a man in a tux between you. Better yet, if it’s two rows of people have her on the back row.

The saving grace is you will be wearing a veil, a gown with a train, entering last and standing at the altar. You and your fiancé will be in every picture. Your mother will be in very few. Take a breath and keep your eye on the prize…marrying this guy you love. Nobody is going to rain on your parade or in this case cause a white out blizzard!   

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