I’m a junior in college and I’ve been dating a wonderful guy for about six months. Recently, I met my boyfriend’s mom and dad and they were super nice but the dad asked me a couple of questions about my mom and her maiden name. I thought that was really weird and then later that night after the dad left my boyfriend told me that his dad said I probably needed to call my mom and tell her that I was dating Blank Blank’s son.
So, of course I immediately called my mom because that kind of weirded me out. As soon as I tell my mom what my boyfriend’s dad said she FREAKED out and started hysterically crying. The way she was acting I thought this guy had hurt my mom or something back in the day and then I got a little bit hysterical.
But no, it was nothing like that. Come to find out my mom was married to my boyfriend’s dad for like five months 30 YEARS AGO when they were both 22. They did some tacky Vegas wedding and then after a couple months went oops and got a divorce and my mom went on to nursing school and her “husband” went to the minor leagues as a pitcher.
My mom never told me she had been married before and had told other family members to never tell her kids she had a first husband. My dad knows but he also never said anything to us. Now, she wants me to dump my boyfriend because the situation is “just too awkward.”
I told her she may have wanted to give her kids a heads up about her other “secret” life. I also mentioned the not so very small fact that since my boyfriend’s dad in her words to me was a “really nice guy” and that they were just “too immature to get married” means that I’m not going to break up with my boyfriend because his dad was her husband for five months back in 1991.
My mom is still freaking out about all of this but I’m not backing down. Do you think I’m doing the right thing? I really like this guy.
Signed, Weirdest Thing Ever
Dear Weirdest,
Hmm, me thinks there might be more to the story than your mom is telling you based on her reaction to a relationship that ended three decades ago. I would go to your mom and ask her in private if there is any other reason she wants you to break up with your boyfriend besides the “awkwardness” of it.
I believe part of her hysteria might be due to the fact that it forced her to finally acknowledge she had been married before. Think about it – she’s kept that secret for a long time. That in itself is astounding since not one member of my extended family can keep their mouths shut about anything.
I would then go to your dad and get his input on the situation. If both of your parents don’t have anything more to share than the fact that it’s indeed a small world and a little weird that you’re dating your mother’s first husband’s son then I wouldn’t sever the relationship.
That said you need to prepare yourself that your mother is probably not going to happy about it and that’s something you should deal with in a mature fashion even if your mom chooses not to.
🙂 Here’s some extra advice from Dear Snarky – check out the latest Snarky audiobooks by clicking the link so you can take a listen.
Snarky in the Suburbs 