Dear Snarky – My Sister Pretended My Baby Was Hers

Dear Snarky,

I’m so angry at my sister right I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

I recently had a beautiful baby girl. My sister had been devoted to my baby and that made me so happy. We haven’t been very close for a while due to her making some really stupid decisions with her life and putting my parents through hell. But since my baby was born she has been with me a lot and seemed so proud of my daughter posting lots of pictures with her on Instagram.

Last week I found out that my sister has been using my baby to blackmail an ex-boyfriend into thinking it’s his kid to get money from him. All those pictures she was posting on her Instagram were just a way to make this guy and his family believe that my baby was my sister’s.

I found out when the ex-boyfriend AND his mom AND his two sisters came to my house to ask me if the baby was mine or my sister’s. One of his sister’s had been comparing my Instagram account with my sister’s and had her suspicions that the baby on my sister’s page was really mine.

When I heard this I got hysterical. I can’t believe my sister was using my infant daughter to get money from a former boyfriend! When I told my husband, he said my sister was banned from our daughter’s life forever. 

I totally agree but my mom thinks I should give my sister a chance to explain herself and she pointed out that this “ban” will ‘mess up every family holiday for the rest of our lives.’

What do I do? My gut tells me to stick with the ban but my mom is now pleading with me to not do this.

Signed, I Wish I Had a Better Family

Dear Better,

Let’s start with how you signed your letter. You do have a better family. The one you’re making with your husband and your baby. So, take great pride and solace in that fact.

Now onto your mother. It appears she has a history of making excuses for your sister and that, I’m saddened to tell you, is probably never going to change. The fact that after hearing how your sister used your baby – her granddaughter – to blackmail a former boyfriend for cash and your mom’s take away was basically don’t be mean to your sister because there goes Christmas dinner is beyond crazy.  Your mom, in my opinion, is as messed up as your sister.

As for your sister I totally agree with you on the ban. Your number one job as a mother is to protect your child and I think your sister has proven herself to be a threat to your daughter’s safety so in my book that means don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out of our lives.

If years later with extensive therapy your sister proves herself to be worthy of another chance you could reconsider your ban. But for now, I think you and your husband have made the right decision and if your mom gives you any attitude tell her she can also be banned. Hopefully that will shut her up.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at 😉




12 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – My Sister Pretended My Baby Was Hers

  1. Rebel says:

    Stick to your guns. Immediately end any conversation with your parents where they bring up this topic. That includes if they are visiting “well, mom, looks like it’s time for you to be hitting the road.” If they do not take the hint, I would cut them off for a period of time (maybe until after Christmas?) and just enjoy your little family for awhile. Besides, the start of a new family is a great time to develop your own holiday traditions.

  2. Angela says:

    Block the sister from all social media and don’t let her get her hands on any more photos of your daughter. What she’s doing is more than a little creepy.

  3. Kathy Eagan says:

    Great advice! The safety of her child is paramount. If the sister is using her niece to get money, what will prevent her from upping the ante. I wouldn’t let my mom or sister within in one foot of my child if this happened to me.

  4. Jenn says:

    OK, I come from an alcoholic family, so obviously I saw some crazy shi$% growing up. But this made my jaw drop.
    I agree, this is the perfect time to start your own holiday traditions. I had to put my foot down when my kid was 2, and at my in-laws, their complete and entire preparation for Christmas was putting a 24″ fake tree on a side table. And we had flown in from 1,000 miles away. I thought, nope, nope, nope. My only kid is not going to forego a decent tree or a stocking. Petty? Possibly. But that’s what happened, and I don’t regret that we stayed in our house for holidays from then on. Family was always invited, of course.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s