Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law is a Serial Liar

Dear Snarky,

 I’ve got a big gripe about my mother-in-law. She’s a huge liar about her adult children. But she’s sneaky about it. She doesn’t come right out and lie she hints and I’m about to hit my breaking point and feel like I need to call her out.

 The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she posted on both Facebook and Instagram that my sister-in-law was in medical school. This is how she said it: “Whose daughter just might be in med school?”

 Here’s the real deal she’s not. My sister-in-law is veterinarian tech. She doesn’t even want to be a vet. She’s loves being a vet tech.

 I don’t understand why she thinks it’s okay to blatantly lie about her kids. Her other recent whopper was that my husband was being recruited by multiple colleges for a coaching position. Except she said, “When you son gets recruited by Division 1 colleges for a coaching positions” and she showed a meme of a someone jumping up and down.

 My husband is a high school math teacher and coaches the baseball team for fun and the extra money. No college is looking for a math teacher to coach their team.

 I feel like the family needs to shut down her lying but both my husband and sister-in-law say it’s not worth the drama and that everybody know she’s lies already so no one believes her anyway. My father-in-law says, “she exaggerates but it’s harmless.”

 I don’t agree and need your advice if I should be the one that tells her stop it.

 Signed, I Don’t Like Liars

 Dear Don’t Like Liars,

 Perhaps you should post on social media – Guess who has a crazy ass mother-in-law?

 It’s obvious this woman has some serious issues and what she’s doing, contrary to what your father thinks, it’s not harmless.

 Besides spinning huge fabrications about her children’s life’s she’s also letting them know she’s not that proud of them. When she constantly embellishes their professions she’s telling them, “Yeah, I’m not happy with what your real career is so I’m going fib and let you know what I think you should be doing.”

 What she really needs is therapy to get to the root of the problem – why she lies? That said, as the daughter-in-law this is not your battle. It’s up to your husband, his sister and their dad to intervene.

 My best guess is that over the years they probably tried and it was such a cluster that it was easier to just make excuses and/or ignore the egregious lying.

 I’m not saying you should do nothing. I would definitely talk with your husband and his sister and urge them both to get help for their mother. I would also maybe even involve a professional in the discussion.

 What you can’t do is lead the charge. Your role should be one of support and gentle shoving to move the family in the right direction on this mental health issue.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉

10 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law is a Serial Liar

  1. Rebel says:

    Do all of the above, then unfriend your mother-in-law on social media. It’s amazing how much less drama effects you when you don’t have to look at it on your own timeline.

    If she brings up you unfriending her, you also have the opening to say “I could no longer tolerate your dishonesty so I chose to no longer see it.”

  2. Susie Uppman says:

    Curious how much response she actually gets to her social media posts.
    I would just let it go, but I would also unfollow her on social media.
    When/if someone asks you, answer honestly.

  3. Shannon says:

    I would strongly consider a sort of rebuttal post. No confrontation-no words! What I mean is, snap a pic of the vet tech sister in law with an animal or whatever and your math teacher husband while coaching HS sports and tag her in the post. You are showing the truth, not actually confronting her, and everyone who is “friends” with her will see the post(s). As far as anyone is concerned you are just posting about people you love, your daily life, or giving them shout outs for awesomeness. Let it take time, not immediately following a lie post-lay in wait. Sneaky and mildly passive aggressive… yes, but you will feel better. Its a very quiet check-mate.

  4. AthenaC says:

    I would look at it this way – how much of social media is a lie? 25%? 65%? More? When looking at social media posts it’s best to always keep in the back of your mind “this might be a lie.” It’s just that in your case, you happen to know for a fact that your MIL’s particular section of social media is a lie. It doesn’t really change anything.

    I would just ignore it, personally.

  5. bunniesandkids says:

    Remember: UNFOLLOW & UNFRIENDLY ARE DIFFERENT

    WHAT DOES UNFOLLOW MEAN ON FACEBOOK?
    Unfollow is mildly unfriending someone without letting them know. You are not unfriending a person, but when you unfollow someone, you will not see their posts on your timeline. However, they can still see your posts. It’s a way to hide someone’s post from appearing on your timeline.

    WHAT DOES UNFRIEND MEAN ON FACEBOOK?
    Unfriend is the oldest option available on Facebook to stop communicating with someone. When you unfriend a person, you are removed from each other’s friends list. It’s a two-way feature. Even if one unfriends, the repercussions will be the same for both. That is, you both will not be able to see other’s private posts — both the future and the past.

    New to me:
    WHAT DOES TAKE A BREAK MEAN ON FACEBOOK?
    Take a break is designed to help you in literally taking a break from someone on Facebook. It is a combination of unfollowing someone and adding them to the restricted list.
    By taking a break, three things happen. First, you cannot see the other person’s post on your feed (equivalent to Unfollow). Secondly, they will not be able to see your private posts too (equal to adding them to the Restricted list). Thirdly, you also get the privilege to delete the past posts that happened between you two or keep them intact.

    • Rebel says:

      In the case of posting content that is objectionable, I am always on team unfriend. Firstly, it reduces their perceived audience. Secondly, it eliminates any temptation for you to scroll over there and see their drama. Thirdly, it blocks their access to your stuff. I unfriended several of my husband’s racist family members this year and have never felt a bit of regret over it.

      I use unfollow for those friends that post way too many inane updates about their daily lives.

    • Susie Uppman says:

      Yep – I’m a big fan of the “unfollow”. I will not hesitate to “unfriend” someone I don’t really know or someone who just continually irritates me, but I have “unfollowed” many people who I love but just can’t stand to read their posts. But since I stay friends with them, I can check in on their timelines to see if I need to keep them unfollowed, or if they have earned the right to return to my timeline……LOLz. (Most helpful during this election season.)

  6. linda says:

    My son’s ex-mother in law is the same way. She’s always posting pictures and drawings that she supposedly drew. She is talented but we’re talking VanGogh here. Of course the replies are ‘oh my you’re soooo talented.’ I wanted to be certain so last time she posted one I researched the internet and it came up in a dozen places as being in an old art book. What makes people crave approval like that? No way I would ever out her or mention it as we have grandchildren together and I like to keep the peace.

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