Dear Snarky – My Sister Wore a Bridal Gown to MY Wedding

Dear Snarky,

 It’s official my sister is insane because she wore a wedding dress to my wedding. Let me back up a bit. She wore a wedding dress she had purchased two years ago and never got to wear because her fiancé called off the wedding.

 My crazy, sneaky sister who was my maid of honor changed out of her bridesmaid dress and into a wedding dress minutes before MY wedding started. She did this after my mom had been seated in the front pew and when my dad and I were in a back corner of the church waiting for our turn to walk down the aisle so we couldn’t see her.

 The other bridesmaids did see her and were horrified. My best friend tried to stop her from walking down the aisle but was afraid of causing a scene. So, imagine my shock when my dad and I come from the back of the church and start walking down the aisle and I see my sister at the front of the church in a wedding dress. I almost lost it.

 Thankfully, my now husband whispered in my ear not to let my sister ruin this wonderful day. So, I kept it together and focused on the positive – I was married.

 Now, I hate my sister and want nothing to do with her and her lame excuse that wearing a wedding dress to my wedding was because she didn’t want “her beautiful dress to go to waste.” My mom says family is forever and I need to “make peace with it.”

 Don’t you think I have a right to be mad and stay mad?

 Signed, Angry Bride

 P.S. My mom did make my sister change out of the wedding dress for all the photos.

 Dear Angry,

Umm no, this isn’t a situation where your mom can wave a magic happy family wand and presto everything is all rainbows and unicorns.

You have every right to be beyond angry. One of the reasons you sister did this besides being a huge, narcissistic, jealous, loser is because your mom, and I imagine other family members, have made excuses for her behavior over the years. They did your sister no favors by covering up her obvious character defects by papering over them with all that family means love B.S. Long ago they should have been  imposing some consequences and therapy, lots of therapy.

 What she did, in my opinion, was an act of family terrorism. She tried to ruin your wedding. You would be a fool and I think it would be mentally unhealthy for you to just sweep it all under the run for the sake of family harmony because what your sister did was unforgivable.

 Just because you are related to someone DOES NOT give them permission to disrespect you or be hateful to you. Family maybe forever but this doesn’t mean you have to stand for their shameful behavior.

 I suggest taking a break from your family until you’re in a better headspace and when you’re ready to reengage with them I would do so with some basic rules of human decency in place.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉

8 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – My Sister Wore a Bridal Gown to MY Wedding

  1. Nanette Boyce says:

    The bride’s family is messed up! Props to the bride and groom for keeping it classy and just rolling with it. Their behavior saved the day and the sister should be avoided forever!!!!!!

  2. Lisa k Waller says:

    The sister’s behavior definitely falls into the bat p —p crazy category. Good advice Snarky as usual.
    Where do these people come from?

    Definitely should not just brush the situation under the rug as the Mom suggests. No way.

  3. TnJmom says:

    Dear Angry Bride,
    My heart goes out to you. You have been dealing with this sister and her enablers for a long time. You have every right to be mad as hell.

    Please follow Snarky’s advice and take a break from your family. During the break, please seek family counseling for yourself and your new spouse on how to deal with your family. I suggest this because you have had no experience of what a healthy family dynamic looks like. I include your husband so that he knows how to help set the necessary boundaries and to know how to help enforce them when these boundaries are crossed. Because no matter what the boundaries are (limited contact, no contact and variations between the two), they will be crossed.

    Counseling should also give you and your husband the skills you both need so that when you two have kids, the mistakes that created your sister’s mental disorder and her ring of enablers are not repeated.

    Best of luck to you and your new spouse – he sounds like a great guy!

  4. Linda says:

    I’m sorry and probably overreacting but to achieve perfect peace in your future life that calls for a gi-normous birch slap. Then never speak to her again. She tried to ruin the best day of your life and she knew what she was doing!

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