Dear Snarky – I Don’t Want My Sister (The “One Upper”) To Be In My Wedding

Dear Snarky,

I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in a human being. At Thanksgiving dinner, with my entire family, my boyfriend and I announced that we were engaged. Before the first person could even get out a congratulations my sister blurted out that she was pregnant with her first child. Of course it then became all about my sister.

At Christmas I found out that my sister was never pregnant and that she mistakenly thought she was and wanted to share the “happy news.” When I asked her if she had even taken a pregnancy test she said no she just “felt pregnant.”

I think she “just felt” that she has to always be the center of attention. That’s her thing – one upping everyone.

I’m so angry I told my mother there is no way my sister is going to be my maid of honor, let alone a bridesmaid, because she has a history of making every event all about her. My mom says my sister has to be my maid of honor because she’s family. My fiancé says we’re paying for our own wedding and I should do exactly what I want.

Do you agree? I need a non-family opinion.

Signed, The Bitter Bride

Dear Bitter,

Girl, I’m on Team Bride! It’s your wedding, your day and your money. You have the right to select bridesmaids who are your best friends and don’t go out of their way to aggressively hurt your feelings. I’ve been to a couple of weddings where a sister wasn’t a bridesmaid. It happens.

Although, I have to point out that since your sister suffers from some sort of narcissistic disorder she’s probably going to do something to make herself the center of attention regardless of whether or not she’s in the wedding party. So, brace yourself for that scenario.

I suggest if you want to totally eliminate drama that you consider the option of a very romantic elopement. Bonus – you’ll save a ton of money!

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10Comments

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1

Sammy on January 2, 2017 at 10:51 am
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I would totally elope. Your sister is going to be hell bent on probably ruining your wedding and why would you want that stress looming over you?
2

Dana on January 2, 2017 at 11:02 am
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She shouldn’t have to give up her special day because her sister is a jerk. She should just make the entire wedding party, especially the bridesmaids, aware of the scenario and assign them all with the job of protecting against her sister’s “stunts.”
3

notjunecleaver87 on January 2, 2017 at 12:13 pm
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My friend married a man who has a sister like this one. She always needs to be the center of attention. She made a scene at a bridal shower and was asked by the host to leave. She was furious that that was not ask to be a bride’s maid (no sisters were ask, not even the bride’s) and showed up late to the rehearsal and loudly complained that she didn’t know why she even had to come since “no one wanted her there anyway” and that she was “being the bigger person by showing up”. Finally, she chose the reception to announce that she and her husband were getting divorced (he didn’t know). She cried and made a big scene. Luckily her father put her in a cab and sent her home.

Be prepared for a scene. Have a friend, or several friends, on stand-by to get her out of there before it gets out of control.
- 4
  
  Jeanine on January 2, 2017 at 2:22 pm
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  The soon-to-be- divorced husband should be thrilled!
5

texashomeschooler on January 2, 2017 at 2:10 pm
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Have a destination wedding that is too expensive for her to attend 😁
- 6
  
  texashomeschooler on January 2, 2017 at 2:14 pm
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  By the way, my husband and I have a whole load full of crazy to contend with! Take my advice, set some healthy boundaries from the start and don’t let all of that get in the middle of your marriage! There simply isn’t any cure for crazy!
7

Angie on January 2, 2017 at 2:11 pm
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You should do exactly what you want and don’t let your sister’s mental illness ruin what you want to do. I would just make sure your sister had a couple of “handlers” who would be with her during the entire wedding to make sure she didn’t try to shit stir.
8

Margaret Koniuck on January 2, 2017 at 6:48 pm
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Sisters aren’t automatically bridesmaids. When my sister got married she did not ask me to be a bridesmaid and I was not offended. However, it appears your sister is easily offended. Talk to her right away and tell her you want her to enjoy herself at your wedding and not have any duties. Tell her directly that you re asking x, y and z to be bridesmaids as you are expecting them to wait on you. Tell your sister you don’t want her to be in that position but rather be a very honoured guest who gets to relax and enjoy the day. If she still makes a scene at showers, etc. Don’t let her wreck your day. Just ignore it. if you rise above it, no matter what she does, she can’t take your day from you.
9

Donna Aldridge on January 15, 2017 at 4:28 pm
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I would not have my sister as a bridesmaid, in spite of my mother having a hissy fit. My parents other daughter picks up a complete stranger at my wedding reception, screws him in the back of his van – in the middle of my driveway. The ho always has to be the bride at every wedding & the corpse at every funeral. The only people who did not know she behaves like a $5 hooker were my new in laws, but they had to learn someday!
- 10
  
  snarkyinthesuburbs on January 15, 2017 at 6:59 pm
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  Good God!!!