Dear Snarky – Is It a Bad Thing I Turn On My Sprinklers During Trick-or-Treat?

Dear Snarky,

I’m getting some pretty serious attitude from my neighbors for not being “Halloween friendly” all because last year I turned all my sprinklers on during trick-or-treat. I don’t do Halloween and I thought by having my sprinklers going full blast people would get the hint to not come to my house. How is this a bad thing? One neighbor said it was hostile. Am I in the wrong here?

Signed, Not a Witch

Dear Witch,

Let’s look at this from a kid’s perspective. Sprinklers on equal not squandering my precious candy getting time on your house. So let’s call that not a bad thing.

As far as your neighbors are concerned I suggest you, in an effort to not be the witch of the cul-de-sac, abandon your sprinkler attack and just go old school – and by that I mean turn off your freaking lights and get over your bad self. A dark house is the traditional sign that nobody is home. Plus you won’t be wasting water. Now get off your broom and go eat a Kit Kat. Maybe that will improve your mood.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice with an Attitude – please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky in the Suburbs Facebook page.

6Comments

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1

Un-Halloweeny on October 27, 2015 at 11:35 am
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In my neighborhood the kids knock on the door even if the lights in the entire house are off. They see a car in the driveway or carport and automatically knock. I agree the sprinkler bit goes too far. There are better ways of dealing with this.
How about going to the mall or Target or Wal-Mart during trick or treat time. Think about it this way, all the parents and wailing kids will be on the street and you will have the stores all to yourself.
2

mamalion3 on October 27, 2015 at 11:39 am
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👌. Love your reply! I was thinking same thing while reading letter!
3

Kim S. on October 27, 2015 at 12:06 pm
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Your reply is pretty funny. When I was a kid, many moons ago, sprinklers would not have stopped my from knocking on the door.

Having the front lights out was the universal, “Hey, don’t come to my door!” when I was growing up. I think it still stands today.
4

Samantha on October 27, 2015 at 7:09 pm
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I don’t think it’s too much, I love Halloween, but I don’t really like children. Most knock even if there’s a light on or not. So I just ignore them, I know that sounds bad but they get the hint eventually. If that’s mean I’m sorry.
5

Reneezelle27 on October 28, 2015 at 7:26 am
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I agree with Snarky. Eat some chocolate. I can see why someone wouldn’t want to be involved in Halloween, but sprinklers are a but much.
6

Reneezelle27 on October 28, 2015 at 7:27 am
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How about a sign on the door that takes two seconds to write that says NO CANDY?