Dear Snarky – My Thanksgiving Is Turning Out to Be a Dumpster Fire

Dear Snarky,

I think Thanksgiving is already ruined. My brother, who is a bit of a character, has recently become a minister. He doesn’t have a theology degree or a job at a church or anything like that. He just decided he loves preaching and got a license on the Internet so he can perform weddings.

Well, my brother informed my mother yesterday that he’d be doing a religious service before we eat and that everyone should “be prepared.”

When I told my husband this he laughed and said that he refuses to have his Thanksgiving held hostage by my “jack ass of a brother” and then said he’s not going to my mom’s and will just stay home and watch the Cowboys game.

Do I make my husband go? Do I go alone? Or do I stay home with my husband? I know whatever choice I make will cause drama and I just want a calm Thanksgiving. I don’t think that’s asking too much.

 Signed, Save My Thanksgiving

Dear Save,

I’ve got to tell you I’m on Team Husband. I’m guessing when you described your brother as a character what you really meant was jerk. If your bro wants to preach at Thanksgiving than good for him, but he has no right to commander your family’s holiday with a “service” that sounds less about the bible and more about his ego.

I’m betting your brother has spent his whole life demanding to be the center of attention and this is just another way for him to do that. I suggest volunteering on Thanksgiving and giving this turkey dinner a hard pass. By doing good in the community you’re helping others and your family, most especially your newly Internet ordained brother, can’t have a problem with that. 

Good luck and brace yourself for Christmas because I’m sure it’s going to be a doozy.


Dear Snarky – We’re Having Thanksgiving at a Relative’s House Who Can’t Cook

Dear Snarky,0db510e857caa82347f72ce8908414c0

Our Thanksgiving is about to be ruined. Every year my family rotates who host the big turkey dinner. This year it’s my brother and sister-in-law’s turn. The problem is neither of them can cook, like at all. The bigger problem is they don’t know it. Five years ago we had the dinner at their house and it was almost inedible.

Now, it’s their turn again. Is there anyway we can avoid this disaster? And please don’t say we should all bring food. We did that last time and my brother said we really hurt my sister-in-laws feelings. Ugh.

Signed, Hungry Family

Dear Hungry Family,

Shame on all of you. In fact, you deserve to eat icky food on Thanksgiving because you’ve waited FIVE years to do anything about this. C’mon you’ve had half a decade to figure this out. That’s plenty of time to have started a new family tradition of everyone bringing the sides and desserts or working on the Thanksgiving rotation so your brother and sister-in-law wouldn’t host until 2050 or something.

So suck it up and since you can’t enjoy the food give thanks for family togetherness

And P.S. I’d still bring at least a pie or something.