There’s not a better cover in the world for being aggressively nosey than walking your dog. You can gaze, stare and survey a house with wild abandon. After all you’re just a person ambling through the neighborhood with their pet.
I have about 15 different routes I take for my dog walks that I chose depending on the weather and how much time I have. The reason I don’t have a set dog walking route is due to many things, but these are the top three.
Coming in an exceedingly strong number one is that I’ve listened to way too many true crime podcasts and it’s rookie mistake, and might also be an invitation to getting yourself murdered, if you have a set routine that you don’t vary from.If there’s one thing I’ve learned from consuming 437 “Dateline” podcasts is that consistency can spell danger.
The second reason is that about ten years ago I read that your dog needs “sniffing variety” and if you take the same walk every day, you’re robbing your bestie of a stimulating sniff experience. I don’t want it to ever be said that I didn’t provide the optimum olfactory experience for my dog.
Rounding out the top three is that I’m curious and I like to have a wide swath of neighborhoods in which to indulge that curiosity. Doing the identical walk every single day would be boring. My dog isn’t the only mammal who needs to experience new environs.
The latest bout of curiosity from my summer dog walks concerns lawns. As in what does a yard convey about the inhabitants of the home. And I don’t mean if a yard is messy or is in need of a premium Turf Builder Weed and Feed. That kind of supposition is for amateurs. As a veteran of inquisitive thoughts I like to go deeper.
As in why are some yards mowed at a height of two inches and other yards at almost four? What is this telling me?
Currently, I’m conjecturing that the four-inch mowed yard is a luxury lifestyle flex. Because to keep the grass in your yard at four inches, and to have it look good, you must have a lush, weed free, probably mature grass yard that’s been coddled and treated with extreme care.
It’s the landscaping version of a Hermès bag. The yard is aspirational, and many times is mowed in a cross-hatch pattern. (Be still my heart.) It’s also been consistently reseeded, aerated, fertilized and on a watering schedule that would make Poseidon proud. You don’t get grass like that without spending some green.
On the other end of the spectrum is the yard that’s mowed at two inches. This can convey a lot of mixed messages. The people who live there could be very busy. If you mow your grass low that buys you time between mows.
A two-inch mow is also weed camo. At that height all you know is that the lawn is green. It could be grass. It could be weeds or both. (Been there. Done that.)
Now, I realize you might be asking yourself is this woman okay because who thinks about grass mowing heights this much?
Let me assure you I’m fine. It’s just that walking your dog for an average of 12 hours a week gives you plenty of time to ponder most especially if the true crime podcast is not as enthralling as it could be. This can lead one to think about grass heights because every yard tells a story or at least it does for me.
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Snarky in the Suburbs 