Dear Snarky,
I have a huge decision to make. Due to the behavior of my ex-husband my daughter’s debutante season is in question. Three weeks ago I sent him a text him asking what the budget was for our daughter’s deb dress and he immediately called me back and said he wasn’t paying for our daughter to be a debutante.
This was a huge surprise to me because he knew our daughter had been invited to be a deb and I had already accepted the invitation. The price is substantial but it’s a great honor for our daughter and family.
When I told him this he said I had never asked him to pay for our daughter’s deb season and that he doesn’t have the money, which I know to be a lie, he added even if he did have it he wouldn’t want to piss it away on something so foolish.
When I told a gentleman friend this story he offered to pay for my daughter’s season if I moved him out of the friend zone. I’ve never been attracted to this man in that way but right now I think it maybe my only option.
When I told my mother this she was mortified and made me feel cheap but I think not disappointing my daughter should be my main concern. What do you think?
Signed, I’ll Do Anything for my Child
Dear Anything,
Well, it’s a tale as old as time but have you actually looked in the mirror and said out loud I’m thinking selling my “favors” to finance my daughter’s deb season? Because I think if you do this you’ll realize how wrong and ridiculous all of this is.
I’m not part of the debutante social set but most debs are in college so I would think an adult child in college would be able to handle the truth – as in we, as a family, cannot afford for you to be a debutante.
Your daughter might get very upset, she might even be relived or moderately disappointed. But the bottom line is she’ll survive. I think the real problem is you won’t. As in it’s very important for your daughter to be a deb.
If you’re worried about social standing – get over it. In fact if you need a fib/excuse of what to tell your friends about your daughter bowing out of being a deb you’ve come to the right place. Consider me at expert level.
You can say that your daughter’s rather intense collegiate academic demands supersede a deb season. It’s a great humble brag and lets you throw shade at the other debs insinuating that might not be as smart as your daughter.
I’ve got a million more I can share (check your email) but the bottom line is no deb season glory is worth what you’re thinking about doing.
***
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Snarky in the Suburbs 