Having a daughter, especially if that daughter is the Gen Z demographic, is not for the faint of heart. This is because I have experienced that these young women have no problem with expressing their honest opinion on just about everything.
I personally love this for a variety of reasons. Coming in at number one is that it’s a time saver. There’s no dancing around. No indecision do-si-do. If you ask for their thoughts, they will respond and leave you with no question on where they stand on an issue as deep as climate change or as frivolous as why high waisted jeans aren’t for you.
This is brilliant because back in my earlier 20s I was very guarded on sharing any of my thoughts lest I offend someone. To be asked my opinion on something resulted in me stating some vague reply like a politician who wants to curry favor with everyone.
It’s not that I didn’t have strong opinions, it was just that I was taught not to share them in “polite conversation.” I know some people probably wish we would harken back to those days but I’m more akin to celebrating that these young women feel no compulsion to tamp down their thoughts.
That said this unbridled honesty can be hard to absorb especially when the person dropping the truth bomb is your daughter. This is why when I ask her for her opinion on something I’ve fully prepped myself that her response might not be warm and fuzzy but it’s almost always exactly what I need to hear.
Sure, I could ask my husband to give me his honest opinion but he’s more conditioned to give me a very measured response that’s more pro than con. That right there is probably why we’ve been married for almost 40 years.
As for asking my son, he’s way too smart to engage and usually responds with a very non-committal, “I don’t know Mom, ask Dad.”
So, for brutal honesty all roads lead to my daughter. This is why when I wanted a candid, perhaps uncomfortable truth about a book I had just written I sent it to her. And by “sent it” I mean it was snail mailed. Alas, for someone who grew up with a phone in her hand she likes to read books on paper.
I thought she was kidding when she said, “mail it to me.” But she called herself old school when it comes to books. So, off I went my rough draft to California.
Her opinion is very much needed since this is a book I had to wait four years to write. It’s about dance moms, well, a killer dance mom and I wanted my daughter well out of the competition dance milieu before I went deep on the topic.
It wasn’t easy to wait that long because every competition I went to for a solid decade had me saying, “I’m putting this crazy in a book someday.”
Well, that day has arrived, but my daughter’s critiques have not. I’m currently anxiously awaiting her “notes.” Apparently, there’s lots of notes. When I asked her how voluminous those notes were she was vague which now has me thinking I’m going to need to do a hefty re-write.
I’m now in a little bit of panic but I have no one to blame but myself. Because I just learned that when you ask your daughter for the truth you have to be prepared not only to accept it but wait for it and the waiting is proving to be the hardest part.
While you wait for my newest book to be released I suggested reading some other Snarky goodies. There’s Empty a “laugh till you cry” menopausal revenge adventure. (Yes, you read that right menopausal revenge. It’s a thing.) Back to School is a hysterical read for any mom who’s experienced elementary school parent drama. Trouble in Texas is a tall tale of what happens when a daughter lets her septuagenarian mom enlist her in a wild scheme that could end up with both of them in jail. And Four Seasons of Snarky is full of short stories (perfect for the person who doesn’t have much time to read) that feature tales of suburban revenge. 😉
Please click this Amazon link to experience the fabulousness. 😘 www.amazon.com/stores/Sherry-Claypool-Kuehl/author/B00S5WL2N4