Back on the Toilet

Emails. So many emails about the column I wrote regarding my feelings about the bathrooms at the old KCI versus the new KCI. I now think I could do a Ted Talk about it and it would be riveting because the personal experiences that were shared with me were frightening.

The horror story begins with the fact (a fact I wasn’t aware of and learned through, of course, emails) that back in the day, after 9/11 and increased airport security, for a moment in time there were no bathrooms, as in zero places to conduct your very personal and most pressing business, once you entered the gate area of the old KCI.

If you had a sudden call of nature you had to exit, use the restrooms in the outer ring of the airport and then go back through security – again. This led to people with stories of missing their flights because they had to use the restroom and got stuck in a security line. Other passengers held it until they got on the plane. 

A retired flight attendant divulged that during this time of the “restroom desert” planes had so many passengers boarding and immediately using the lavatory that sometimes it delayed takeoff. 

Now, this is nothing compared to the stories of people actually wetting their pants and my worst nightmare, explosive diarrhea that leads to pooping yourself in a public setting. Three people wrote to me to share their personal embarrassment of having a sudden stomach issue and not making it to the bathroom outside the gated entry in time to deal with it. Just reading these emails caused my IBS to flare. 

This is why some people were “grateful” when the old KCI got restrooms in the gate area even if they had all the charm of an outhouse. That’s not to say people didn’t have tales of woe about those stalls of doom. One woman admitted to being so embarrassed about the bathroom situation at times she wouldn’t disclose she was from Kansas City. I wrote her back saying she was not alone. 

Another poor soul had a health issue and asked to please, please, be allowed to use one of the two toilets and was denied by travelers who refused to give up their coveted place in line. Seconds later the woman passed out and left KCI on a stretcher. Fortunately, she ended up being okay but when I say those stalls were cursed I’m not exaggerating.

Now, there were also a lot of emails stealing my joy about the new KCI restroom experience. When I used the ladies’ room in the Southwest section of the new terminal I was overcome with emotions of jubilation. It was all I ever dreamed of. But I have received reports of empty soap dispensers, no paper towels, trash cans overflowing and bathrooms in urgent need of janitorial attention.

Talk about a stab to the heart. How could this be happening? My precious, long awaited, literally prayed for (as in the many times I stood in line to use the bathroom by Southwest gate 39 I asked for divine intervention to save me from these toilets) women’s restrooms are now a mess. Say it’s no so.

If this is indeed true I must now rally all the women of Kansas City who have endured years of KCI airport bathroom suffering to join me in Operation Clean. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I will fight for my right to a KCI restroom experience that doesn’t make me wish I had driven to my destination. We can do this. Our bladders and gastrointestinal tracts have earned it.


In other news have I got a deal for you! In celebration of spring 🌸 I have my latest book Four Seasons of Snarky on sale for 99 cents for on Amazon!!! No worries if you don’t have a Kindle you can download the app for free. I have the Kindle app on my phone so I can read late at night and not wake up my husband.

Here’s a link to the book which is a romp through suburbia chock full of short stories about annoying neighbors, peacock parents, continuous drama as a lifestyle choice and cul-de-sac intrigue. 😉