I had one of the last flights out of the old Kansas City airport and as I waited to board I used that time to bid adieu to my nemesis – the egregious bathrooms in the terminal. Specifically, any of the women’s restrooms in the holding pin that was the Southwest gate area.
These restrooms were so bad that for years I restricted my fluid intake two hours before I left for the airport in an effort to not have to use any of these bathrooms. The main issue was always the lack of toilets.
Take the ladies room by Southwest Gate 39 it had only two stalls. Two teeny tiny, scary stalls. Now, I realize the former KCI airport was built more than fifty years ago but I don’t think that back in the day a female’s bladder was somehow able to hold more liquid thus negating the need for more toilets.
Which brings me to the question that has tormented my brain since I first flew into KCI more than a decade ago – how did anyone think that two stalls were going to be able to accommodate the bathroom needs of women (and their children) de-planing or waiting to board in that gate area?
Then there was the issue that I had been in nicer portable toilets. Are portable toilets usually beyond gross? Yes. But you know what most portable toilets have? Doors that aren’t broken. For years the doors on these two toilets have been cracked, chipped and in some cases missing huge chunks out of them. It’s as if some bathroom brawl occurred in 1987 and the doors stood as a testament to that throwdown. Every time I had to use this bathroom, I would wonder why the doors were never replaced or at the very least had some Gorilla glue used on them.
Now, as every Kansas City woman who has been in this bathroom knows, using the tragic two stall ladies’ room also required you to be a de facto member of the Chamber of Commerce. This is because people who are not from K.C. would be in shock and wee bit traumatized upon entering what at first glance did appear to be the liar of a serial killer.
This led to us proud, caring Kansas Citians to assure these visitors that the airport is not a reflection on the wonders that awaited them once they left the building while also preparing them that stall doors probably aren’t going to lock and fingers crossed that there’s T.P.
All this is why when I got off my Southwest flight at the new airport I was trembling with excitement. I made a beeline for the bathroom. It was all about the ladies’ rooms for me. Forget about the art or that there’s actual places to eat this 1.5-billion-dollar airport would be judged solely on the women’s restrooms.
I got emotional when I saw that there was a large entry area with a sign telling you how many toilets were in use. And praise to the goddess of porcelain bowls there were more than two stalls. In fact, the number of toilets was in the double digits. At this point I needed a tissue to wipe my eyes because my joy was that overwhelming.
And I was not alone in that level of jubilation. The ladies’ room was filled with rejoicing over the fact that the women of Kansas City now have airport restrooms that acknowledge we have active bladders. On top of that it was beautiful. With zero exaggeration I can tell that women were hugging each other or maybe I was doing all the hugging, but I was getting enthusiastically hugged back.
You did good Kansas City, you did good.
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In celebration of spring 🌸 I have my latest book Four Seasons of Snarky on sale for 99 cents for on Amazon!!!
No worries if you don’t have a Kindle you can download the app for free. I have the Kindle app on my phone so I can read late at night and not wake up my husband.
Here’s a link to the book which is a romp through suburbia chock full of short stories about annoying neighbors, peacock parents, continuous drama as a lifestyle choice and cul-de-sac intrigue. 
www.amazon.com/dp/B0BGYQ9GK2
Snarky in the Suburbs 