Dear Snarky,
I’m very pissed off right now! I found out that my niece who had a virtual college graduation party last May that included the extended family pooling our money to pay off some of her college loans DID NOT actually graduate from college and DID NOT use the money to pay off debt but instead got herself a car.
The cat got out of the bag about the fake college graduation when my brother noticed that our niece’s name wasn’t listed as a graduate of her college in the “Congrats Graduates” stuff they post on their website. When he asked our sister, the girl’s mother, she said that her daughter failed two classes and has to retake 6 hours to graduate but she doesn’t know if that will ever happen.
We found out about the car when our niece bragged to her cousins that she took the money her aunts, uncles and grandparents and many more relatives gave her for her college debt and used it to buy a car.
My two brothers and I went to our sister and told her that we would like a refund for the money we gave our niece since 1) she didn’t graduate and 2) used the money we gave her for a car instead of using it to reduce college debt. Our sister told us we were being petty and mean and that we needed to stay the hell out of our niece’s business.
I don’t agree – at all. What advice do you have for resolving this?
Signed, Ripped Off Aunt
Dear Ripped Off,
Here’s the news you don’t want to hear. The money you gave your niece, well, chances are you’re not to get any of it back, like ever.
Sure, you gave your niece the money under false pretenses because she did indeed not graduate from college and she spent the money that was earmarked for debt relief on a car.
But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re dealing with a young adult with a character defect who most likely doesn’t give two shits about what her aunt and uncles think about her. Bottom line – she has no shame and besides taking legal action there’s no way she’s going to say, “Oh my bad. Let me sell my car and return your money.”
Then there’s the problem of your sister. It sounds like she’s also devoid of shame. If one of my kids had pulled the “oops I failed two classes and oops I spent the grad money on a car” trust me that “situation” would have been corrected immediately.
The best I can offer you is to use what your niece did as a teachable moment to the other younger family members and I would have no qualms about telling my sister that based on the behavior of her and her daughter you’re going to have to take a break from both of them for the foreseeable future.
If you have a problem that’s crying out for some advice from Dear Snarky please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com 😉
***
Here’s something that’s not a rip off – my NEWEST book. That’s right Killer Dance Mom is available for presale!!! 🎉 It’s my first Snarky mystery and I’m hoping you’ll love it. Here’s the link to order https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C4FZTK5B
Wynn Butler is a newbie dance mom and honestly, she hasn’t exactly been receiving rave reviews for her skills. Blinging out costumes and being your child’s glam team are not exactly her strong suits. But at her daughter’s first national competition Wynn is ready to prove herself.
What she hadn’t planned for is being forced to share a hotel room with her least favorite person in the whole world – Jacardia Monroe, a mom who’s had two tours of duty at a spray tan detox clinic.
As Wynn attempts to survive the roommate from hell and cheer on her daughter, she stumbles onto a murder. Stuffed in a dance bag backstage is Kingston Reeves, a renowned competition judge. Sitting right next to that dance bag is Jacardia.
When both women became “persons of interest” in the case, Wynn decides it’s time to do some serious snooping to see who at the competition had a motive to kill the dance judge. Rallying her best friends to help her, Wynn discovers a wide swath of suspects from the Instagram/influencer mom who brings a professional camera crew to follow her at competitions, to a crazed former ballerina turned combative dance mom and then there’s the glitter gang . . . a cadre of mothers who are addicted to rhinestoning costumes and perhaps even murder.
As Wynn gets closer to finding out who the killer is she might be one step-ball-change away from death.
Snarky in the Suburbs 