If the other members of your family aren’t jealous about how much you love your dog then maybe you need to step it up in the canine affection department. A common refrain in my family is that they wished they were treated as well as our two dogs. To that I say, if and when they become totally obsessed with me as much as the dogs obviously are then we’ll talk.
One of the less awful things in this whole pandemic mess has been more time at home with our pets. For me it’s been basically a love-in. Recently though I had to do something that was almost foreign to me – board our dogs.
That last time they had to be away from home was five solid years ago. This is because we always had a family member that would take care of them. It’s not an exaggeration to say I was distraught about having to board them.
I don’t like leaving loved ones behind. I was never one of those moms that liked to take trips without my kids. Looking back, I think it was more of an ego thing. I thought no one could take as good of care of them as me. That’s probably true but it’s not like they wouldn’t have survived a five-day solo visit with their grandma. (Grandma might not have survived but that’s a story for another day.)
Although, I don’t think ego was at play with my unhappiness at having to board my dogs. It’s the abandonment issue and, you know, that fact that they can’t text you with daily “how I’m doing” updates. (Curse you paws and your lack of opposable thumbs.)
That said, I don’t ever like to be the one that drops the dogs off to be boarded. There’s no way I want to be profiled as the human who dumped the dogs. Sadly, this last go around I was the dreaded dog dropper offer. It was not good, not good at all. I swear both dogs gave me the over the shoulder look of despair and disbelief that I was doing this to them as they walked into the boarding facility. It haunted me.
One night while I was in my hotel bed I couldn’t stop thinking about them. I even imagined a diary entry from my beagle, you know if dogs could do that sort of thing. Oh, and in my head my beagle has a British accent.
Dear Diary,
It’s been three days since our beloved left us. We lay here confused turning over in our heads what we could have done to deserve this level of abandonment. Although, it’s hard to think in here. The barking is non-stop. I fear we’ve been placed with inferior canines who can’t discern vocal modulation. We’re also both famished. The dry dog food has a limited flavor profile and the treats are practically non-existent. But most of all we miss our human queen. The only explanation we can come up with for our current situation is that she must be in some sort of peril. We plot daily how to escape this contradiction called a dog run (alas there is no real room to run) and save her.
I told my husband about my dog diary thoughts and he just rolled his eyes and asked if I knew the dogs weren’t human? I rolled my eyes right back because this was from a man who bought both dogs velvet pillows for “softer snuggling opportunities.”
Fortunately, I’ve been reunited with my loves and what a glorious event that was. Although, they literally won’t leave my side. Okay, that’s wrong. I won’t leave their side and that means all is right with my world.
Snarky in the Suburbs 