Dear Snarky,
I live in Texas where all the COVID restrictions are being lifted. But based on the uncertainty of COVID my daughter last year decided to delay her wedding until April of 2022. We’ve already reserved the church and place for the reception and have gotten the bridal gown. This summer we had planned on nailing down florists, a caterer etc.
My problem is that now that all the COVID restrictions are gone my daughter wants to get married THIS June.
Gulp.
It’s not just the rapid planning that would require the real issue is that my husband and I have budgeted to have the wedding next year. We literally don’t have the funds available to pull off a big wedding in three months and my husband refuses to deplete our retirement account to do so.
When we told our daughter this she got hysterical. She doesn’t want to wait a whole year to get married. I can understand this so I told her that we could afford a very small wedding and it would still include a sit-down dinner but not an open bar. Although, we would have limited amounts of champagne, wine and beer.
This didn’t go over well and now we haven’t spoken to her in a week. My husband, the practical one, is over her behavior especially since we would lose the down payment we’ve already given the reception venue to hold the April 2022 date.
How do we resolve this issue? I love my daughter but I feel like she’s trying to hold my husband and I hostage to her demands.
Signed, Disappointed Mama
Dear Mama,
Hmm, are you sure your daughter is emotionally mature enough to get married? I know you love her but right now her behavior would be at home with a bunch of preschoolers.
The solution, as I see it, is to tell your daughter if she wants to get married ASAP then she and her groom can freaking pay for it. Let’s see how that harsh blast of reality affects her.
Bottom line – your daughter is being a brat. You gave her an alternative that sounded lovely and she still threw a temper tantrum. Your only recourse in my opinion is to STAND FIRM. If you let her manipulate or bully you into touching your retirement account to throw her a big ass wedding in three months you will hate yourself and your financial situation.
As far as your daughter ghosting you for a couple of days – enjoy it. I have a feeling much more drama is coming your way.
If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉
Snarky in the Suburbs 