It’s All About the Flour Power

Well, this couldn’t suck more could it? Yes, I get it things could be worse, much worse. So, slow your roll on sending me that email. But in terms of things being suck worthy I’m going to with confidence say Covid-19 rates pretty high.

Cheers though to all of the people out there who are all about taking the pandemic and putting a positive spin on it.

There’s the Instagram and Facebook posts of people celebrating family time with some stunning photography of scenic walks in the woods to festive trampoline “jumps for joy.” Then you have the very photogenic family meal photos where people, people much better than me, are using the lock down to cook amazing meals after doing massive amounts of home organization projects to turn their house into a snuggly “quarantine haven.”

These are good people. These are just not my people because I’m going to confess that I’ve hidden the last of my family’s Charmin Ultra Soft for myself. The rest of my family can use the one ply eight pack I snagged from the Dollar Store because right now I don’t consider them three ply worthy.

I’ve also taken to having very in-depth conversations with family members about flour. Yes, flour. My son wanted to make some homemade bread. This led to me swooping into the kitchen and forcibly grabbing the canister of flour out of his hand.

 I had to explain to him that bread took five to six cups of flour. Not only that but if he made bread that would mean we would be down to one packet of yeast.

As a family with weeks left in lockdown we needed to save our flour for more deserving causes like chocolate chip cookies, cakes, and cinnamon rolls. My son was confused about not only my newfound passion for flour but also my rationing. I clued him in that flour and yeast were both on the top 10 list of things hoarders bought in bulk and currently there was none to found.

He was skeptical of my claim incredulously asking, “Why would people buy all the flour and yeast? Do that many people bake anymore? What happened to gluten being the enemy?”

I told him those were all excellent questions that I had no answers to except that some people are monumental jerks and enjoyed the apparent thrill of cleaning out the grocery stores. I curse them and their many, many, five-pound bags of flour. May they all move up two pant sizes during the lock down. Also, while I’m at it may their plumbing clog from abundant toilet paper usage.

One thing that I did sincerely try to put one of those positive spins on is the family dinner. How lucky I am to have all my chicks home? What could be more uplifting than sharing a meal every evening? Umm, a lot of things.

Cooking dinner every-single-night is not a blast. Neither is cleaning the kitchen. Add in a pandemic and it can be depressing. I had to make a rule that there would be no talking about the coronavirus at dinner. It was making me anxious.

The off shoot of that was that no one had anything else to blab about. We were all working or doing school from home meaning not much was going in our lives. It was either talk about the state of the world or stare at each other. So, back to Covid-19 it was.

I need to Instagram that perfect family moment. All of us sitting around the table looking scared while I hug my last remaining bag of flour and desperately hope no one has found my Charmin stash.

6 thoughts on “It’s All About the Flour Power

  1. Muriel Kelsey says:

    I bought a 25 lb. bag of flour at Costco before the hoarding began. It was kind of a joke. But I bake a lot and make a lot of pizza dough too. So I knew it would be used. But when I couldn’t find yeast I wondered what was going on. I agree with your son, what about all the gluten intolerant!?!
    Take care everyone.

    • snarkyinthesuburbs says:

      I think the gluten intolerant are still very much gluten intolerant. I’m guessing all the people that were choosing to eliminate gluten from their diet as a lifestyle choice must have had a massive stress grab in the baking aisle. P.S I was pondering buying almond flour but WOW is it expensive.

      • Broken (@BrokenLife31415) says:

        My store has a bunch of GF flours. My guess is that the hoarders don’t know what to do with it.

        My local restaurant supply store is still open and has flour in the 25lb bags and also yeast by the pound. We do a lot of baking anyway, so it works for us.

      • snarkyinthesuburbs says:

        I’m going to leave those 25 lb bags for people that will use it up in a timely fashion. The last thing I need is the pressure to bake and stuff my face more so I don’t “waste” flour. I already think when this is over I’m going to have to exit out of my front door sideways.

  2. Darcelle says:

    I attempted bagels with my precious bread flour and yeast. Not a great result and I am sure my reluctance to use my supplies did not help the cause. I do bake often and do have a large bag on AP flour stashed in the pantry.

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