I Need A Millennial!

“I need a millennial!”

That’s my work battle cry at least twice a day. (To be specific I need a younger millennial. Sorry, but you older 80s baby millennials just don’t have the same tech chops as your late 1990s peers. Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault that you once used a Motorola flip phone.)

In fact, I’m not sure what I would do without the baby millennial. Technology crisis – millennial, social media best practices – millennial. I’ll just cut to the chase and say that basically any question that begins with “What the heck is this?” requires a consultation with a millennial.

Lucky for me I live and work with millennials and even better they usually respond to my calls of help. My son, Mr. Millennial, has scolded me for my dependency on his generation. He said I’m taking the “easy way out by not solving my own problems.”

Wow, I had some mild panic, followed by guilt and then deep, reflective, thought on the topic until I realized what does my son know? He’s a millennial.

That right there is basically my catch-22 with the generation. Millennials are awesome, but hey they’re not as awesome as my generation – the baby boomers.

Well, depending on what chart you look at I’m not a baby boomer. I’m, sort of, straddling the Boomer and Generation X line. So, I guess that makes me a Boom X’er. Confidently, after reading about the characteristics of Generation X I’d like to go full Boomer.

Yikes, according to many cultural anthropologists Generation X blows. It says we’re “shallow, materialistic, self-absorbed, and controlled by money.” It sounds like my sorority back in the 80’s not an entire generation. I’d like to take a moment to formally object to this description of the good people born between the time when Bonanza and Dallas were the number one rated TV shows.

What’s up with these generational labeling anyways? It’s all very mean girl unless you happen to be born between 1901 and 1924 and are “the greatest generation.”

This I can’t argue with because of all the people I have known none surpass my grandparents in sheer awesomeness. Besides their overall kindness, their work ethic, pretty much until the day they died, was incredible. Hand to God, my grandmother died waxing her kitchen floor and trust me it was the way she would have wanted to go.

The newest label is Generation Z or Centennials or Linksters. It seems like there’s a problem deciding what to call the folks born after 2002. If you ask me none of them work, especially Linkster. I can’t imagine myself sitting at my desk in twenty years and bellowing, “I need a Linkster!” (I just tired it and it sounds as stupid as you think it would.)

The main characteristic of this generation is that it’s the very first born with an iPhone in their hand. Okay, not really, but this generation is being referred to as “digital natives” or “linked into technology from day one.”

There’s a whole list of things this generation will never do and the biggest “Are you kidding me?” moment for me is when I read that they will never learn cursive writing? I’m shocked.

It seems cursive writing is going the way of the butter churn? What a shame because there’s a whole of fun in writing the curly Q and how about the snazzy Z. It’s  loop-tastic. Bonus – back in the day learning cursive took time away from math. RIP cursive, because you will truly be missed.

Hmm, I just had a thought. That’s something my generation can be authorities on – cursive.

Don’t worry you post 2000 humans I’m here and waiting for a Linkster’s urgent howling of, “I need a Gen X’er who thinks they’re a baby boomer!”