Miley Cyrus Is Not the Problem


Dear God in heaven please spare me from all the continued mom outrage about Miley Cyrus and her VMA performance. Sure, it was crass and oh so calculated. Look at what we’re all talking about. But the boo hoo and devastation because the 20-year-old was a once upon a time “role model” is getting stale. To this I say Miley Cyrus is not the problem – you, the mother, are.

Miley shouldn’t have been your daughter’s idol. Never mind that you dropped some serious cash on her two concert tours Best of Both Worlds and Wonder World and had a Hannah Montana themed birthday for your then eight-year-old daughter back in 2009 with the cutest guitar-shaped cake e-v-e-r.  This is when you, as the adult, should have been educating your daughter that Hannah Montana is a character played by an actress named Miley Cyrus. She’s not real. It’s called a teachable moment when you swoop in and grab the opportunity to point out r-e-a-l people who are doing amazing things like say their teacher or the oncologist that lives down the street. These people are role models not a Disney channel actress with a dad who has made some seriously bad life decisions and hair style choices.

If, you as a parent, were so mortified by Miley’s performance why didn’t you change the channel to say PBS? They were running Masterpiece Theatre during the foam finger grind and about that – why were you even watching the VMA’s? I should think most mothers with girls old enough to have enjoyed Hannah Montana back in the day would have aged out of the VMA demographic. That’s my polite way of saying by now you should have better taste in music. Oh, I know a lot of you are going to throw J.T. at me and the whole N Sync of it all but aren’t we techy enough to watch the clip later on our phone or iPad as we sit in our cars and wait for soccer practice to be over?

Lastly, you should be raising a much smarter daughter. A daughter that understands it’s called the entertainment industry and Miley Cyrus is a business. A business that thrives of being provocative, disgusting, (you name it) therefore getting phenomenal amounts of free advertising and garnering the status as the Queen of Social Media for a few days. Your daughter should be savvy enough to know that ultimately she is Miley’s boss. All she has to do to silence the freak show is not buy her music, not follow her tweets, vines and instagrams – to simply just say no to Miley. If this happens slowly Cyrus will become a VMA footnote as the crazy lady with an abnormally long tongue who used to be on some lame Disney show that “danced” with bears all while wearing orthopedic shoes and going to 3rd base with a foam finger.

***For all things wonderfully Snarky go to where you can find the new Spring/Summer  Snarky line of clothing and accessories. Plus, there’s my book – Snarky in the Suburbs Back to School. (Click here for purchase information.) Here’s a little ditty about it: The Spring Creek Elementary School PTA board (a coven of Mean Moms dressed in Uggs, yoga pants, and dermal filler) is up to no good.  Wynn Butler (middle-aged, uncool, and not bringing sexy back) is determined to find out what’s going on. With help from her two kids, a Roomba vacuum turned mobile surveillance drone, and a few good friends, Wynn launches a covert investigation that leads to the “mother of all revenge capers” at the school’s annual Fall Festival.  If you’ve ever fantasized about smoke bombing the idiot parent who has yet to master the fine art of the school drop-off lane, or standing up and shouting, “Liar, liar, Botox on fire” during a PTA meeting, then this delicious tale of payback is for you. To stay up-to-date on new posts and take part in my not so deep thoughts click on this Facebook link – (That’s the abbreviated link to my FB page) or I twitter @snarkynsuburbs.

73 thoughts on “Miley Cyrus Is Not the Problem

  1. LeAnne Stowe says:

    I aged out of the “watching TV” demographic years ago. I didn’t see the VMA’s, believe in free expression, don’t care what she did with a foam finger, and still love her music.

      • katy says:

        I dont know if im replying to someones post. i couldnt figure out how to write my own message, so i dont know what im doing, replying to someone or whatnot. but i just wanna leave my thoughts on the mtv vma miley cyrus 2013 performance. for whoever wrote this article. be careful pointing fingers, because i used to love miley cyrus cteen queen clean music back in the day when she was hannah montana. i would watch all her shows and my mom took me to her wonderworld tour in nashville a year or 2 back where we live. you shouldnt say my mother is the problem for letting me like her back then. it was called my mother knew she was clean at the time and she didnt have to worry about me listening to her music then. so dont point fingers at my mom for letting me like her back then. thats kinda rude.
        but i will say, im in college and im a girl and im old enough now to make my own decisions and the other night when i saw her on the mtv vma awards, i was very upset at her for going from perfectly clean and fine hannah montana to turning into a trashbag and nasty pervert and i have made the grown up decision of my own not to like her in any way or look up to her in any way and not to listen to or buy her music anymore. cause i love singers who are clean influences who dont do such bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad things like miley did on the mtv awards. shes lost me as a fan all together because i wanted her to stay clean and she chose to ruin it and loose me as a fan. so its her fault. and she will never win me back. the end

      • snarkyinthesuburbs says:

        I have a daughter. She also loved Hannah Montana! I am not saying mother’s shouldn’t have let their daughters enjoy the Disney Channel or it’s shows. Lord, I think I saw every episode of Hannah Montana.

  2. Erin Vaughn says:

    Well, you hit the nail on the head. I was offended by the lack of preparation, good choreography, and talent during her performance not the sexual innuendo…though I think innuendo means “implied” and there wasn’t much left to imply after she sacrificed a foam finger to non-stop, um, scratching. I was starting to wonder if she needed a shot or cream for that itch! I played it for my 8th grader on DVR the next day simply so she could see the ridiculousness of it and we sat there and laughed together. Mtv must be thrilled to have found relevance again.

    • K. Shavonne says:

      Yes!! Erin Vaughn! That was my whole point! My daughter didn’t see it either and I watched it the next day to see what all the fuss was about and talked to my 12 yr old daughter in case she heard about it too from her friends. She laughed too and was angry that Miley thought that would be entertaining! great article!

  3. southernlites says:

    Wouldn’t waste my time on talentless, screaming ….uh……singers. But, from what I’ve heard that guy behind her should register in all fifty states as an offender. Disgusting to this grandma and no, I’m definitely not a prude. Just someone who remembers decency and good singing. And Snarky you hit the nail again! Teaching our children what’s really important should be our job.

  4. Paige C. says:

    Bravo, Snarky…!! ahahahahahhaaaaa….!! I never did understand moms who let their daughters idolize shallow entertainers, like Miley Cirus or Brittany Spears….as you said, the moms are the real problem here… 😉

  5. Tammy says:

    Okay, THIS is how I’ve been feeling but for whatever reason, I just wasn’t able to get my thoughts together. It’s been bugging me and bugging me. Thanks Snarky.

    • snarkyinthesuburbs says:

      I just couldn’t stand reading one more Facebook post about Miley Cyrus and how she was supposed to be a role model. WTH? Why? Because she was cute on a Disney show that has been off the air for years? And what parent would ever want an actress/singer/stripper to serve as a role model for their daughter? Get off your butts mom and BE the role model.

      • Chad says:

        Unfortunately that requires some of those lazier people out there to have to actually do any kind of parenting. And the fact you even say anything to them about it will be offensive to them and they will find some way to blame everything and or everyone else because taking responsibility for anything especially being a parent is not what they do. Apparently it is everyone else’s fault… Sad really

    • Nette says:

      It’s sad but true that people are not surprised to see men publicly behaving like sex crazed scumbags. What the woman did here is something closer to treachery. “Promoting rape culture” is dreadful from a man. From a woman… I’m neither shocked nor dismayed that she is taking the heat.

  6. Roxie the Outlaw says:

    I was too busy watching Breaking Bad and missed the whole thing! Day late and a dollar short … story of my life ….

    • Hayley says:

      Oh my god, Breaking Bad!!! The best show! And, along with the VMAs, another one my kids aren’t allowed to watch. Although they do watch Family Guy so…there’s that…..listen, I’m doing the best I can, get off my back.

      • Rachel Y. says:

        I appreciate the article, but I have had a good time making fun of Miley’s unfortunate choices. My child is not allowed to watch the VMAs anyway. She never idolized Miley or anyone else, for that matter, even though she gets to watch Futurama (because I’m not willing to fight her father on it). 🙂

      • LAMama says:

        My kids watch Family Guy too!! Ok, Hayley, so we are not Mothers of the Year, but I bet your kids, like mine, have a great sense of humor. And THAT matters for something!!!

  7. Brenda says:

    Miley was smart all the way to the bank… Everyone is talking about her. Everyone has the option of giving their opinion by turning off the tv or putting it on another channel. Instead, people who have never watched this show has watch this. That says a whole lot more about everyone else than it does and entertainer who gets paid to get that reaction.

  8. Dimples Dodds says:

    I got a screen shot of Will Smith and his family during Miley’s “Looky at me! IIII’m NOT Hannah Montana!!!” business and started laughing so much my husband and I had to see for ourselves and changed the channel to the VMA’s. We laughed at her obvious attempt for shock value and my husband put his hand to the side of his head started shaking it and said, “Her dad is just thinking, please God, can we fast forward 10 years!” I had to tell my 16 y/o (Whom I endured the Best of Both Worlds concert for back in the day) about it the next day and laughed again about how overtly ridiculous she was being. My Daughter LOVED Hannah/Miley, but at 16, she’s over it.

  9. laurelisaak says:

    My thoughts exactly! If there wasn’t an audience for crassness, she wouldn’t have been crass! I’m proud to say that my 8th grade daughter thinks she’s an idiot!

      • laurelisaak says:

        I don’t know about a T-shirt, but maybe she should put it on her college application? If the 4.0 and 99.9th percentile rank doesn’t get the job done (which let’s face it, there are a lot of kiddos like that these days), the fact that she thinks Miley Cyrus is an idiotic will probably get her admitted to Harvard! 😉

  10. Keia says:

    Interesting post. I personally didn’t watch the VMA’s nor do I have a daughter but I do have a son. I did go back and watch the video on MTV of the award show along with some other artists that were talked about the next day. I was offended and possibly embarrassed for Miley. But again, I don’t have a daughter and my son is not at the age where he watches MTV. The fact that I was interested in all the Miley hoopla along with the other artists does not mean I don’t have great taste in music. For me I was actually interested in knowing what Robin Thicke’s reaction/ response was. I probably shouldn’t be embarrassed for Miley as she’s her own person, but I am and I’m sure my embarrassment will eventually fade away.

    Why are you assuming that people aren’t…raising smart daughters or teaching lessons behind this? Because they were mortified?

  11. Zelda says:

    Actually, I don’t think I’ve heard any moms posting that she was a role model or that their kids once loved a character that she played. I think you missed the point of why people are disgusted, and that is because she, regardless of who she used to be, acted like a disgusting whore. I don’t care about the fact that I have Hannah stuff in my house or how much I spent on it. It made my kids happy and they still play with it. It has nothing to do with the fact that she used to play a character on Disney called Hannah Montana. My kids don’t even associate who she is now with their Hannah doll. That is not why most people are disgusted. It’s not why I am disgusted. The “Miley is all grown up shocker” came some time ago with “party in the USA.” The only thing I agree with is that this is a teachable moment for mom’s who do raise daughters who are taught that this is not acceptable behavior and they are better than that. That the girl they see on TV is disgracing herself. It doesn’t matter who she used to be. Now, the more I think about it, why is anyone, myself included, upset about the antics of someone on MTV? This cheap act is the norm there. It’s not art, it’s not talent, it’s not culture; but the lack thereof. We are the idiots for watching and giving her the attention she wanted. And why is no one talking about Robin Thicke? He should have known better. OK, I’m done. Well, no I am not done. Do you want to have the people you talk down to follow your blog or get pissed off at you for your holier than thou tone? That’s not snarky, it’s condescending.

  12. Lesley Still says:

    Miley has gotten exactly what Miley wanted to get, she is getting talked about. Talentless, tactless, and tasteless. She’s yesterday’s news, moving on.

  13. Teresa McCasland (@teresamccasland) says:

    Oh please! All kids (and most adults) have celebrity idols. From Donny Osmond, David Cassidy, Michael Jackson, or rock stars like Mick Jaggar, Steven Tyler, and The Voice’s hottest bromance duo Adam Levine and Blake Shelton to name a few. While I agree with your statement that it is up to parents (not just moms!!) to find teachable moments and educate children on the marketing and money side of show business, as well as the importance of integrity, decent morals, and good decision making, you must keep in mind that when little girls were going to Miley Cyrus concerts (or Hannah Montana as you refer to) Miley was a Disney star with a relatively wholesome persona and famous country singing dad that appeared regularly on talk shows to discuss their so-called “normal” life on the farm in Tennessee. Sadly, Miley is the epitome of child star gone bad; and no doubt she has received poor advice, little to no guidance from her own parents, and her preposterous performance only served to affirm to her celebrity peers and most of America that the child star that was loved is now a joke! She went from “the climb” to falling into valley! TMZ went so far as to embarrass Miley by comparing her gluteus maximus to Lady Gaga who also bared her backside last night. I must say that when pictured side by side Miley’s derrière did not fair well! Also many celebrities made negative comments about the absurdity of Miley’s distasteful and downright bad performance while the Parent’s Television Council is taking action against MTV for last nights fiasco. You are absolutely right about this being a publicity stunt that was well calculated, but one thing for certain, if last night’s performance is an indicator of the pulse of this nation, we are in trouble folks! Therefore, in closing, everything you said was accurate, but narrow-minded; addressing only one part of the problem. There were many variables and you left out more than your reported on in my humble opinion. It is okay for people to admire celebrities and have themed birthday parties, attend concerts, movies, sports events, etc. and while a common children hood dream that follows some into adulthood is to esteem to achieve such celebrity status, they must understand that celebrities are just people that make poor decisions and mistakes just like the rest of us. Cory Monteith (Fenn from Glee) is an example of what appeared to be a good kid that made a poor decision that cost him his life, as did Heath Ledger and others. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if more celebrities chose to be positive role models?!! However, perhaps athletes, actors, musicians, and other celebrities should not be put in the category as role models because in fact, they are performers…sometimes on the stage and off! It is our public service workforce: fireman, policeman, teachers, and soldiers that are heroes and should be looked up to as role models for these people work long hard hours, put their lives on the line (yes, even educators due to the record number of school violence) for little money. Also the researchers and scientist that work diligently to find cures for diseases, pastors, doctors, and anyone that models outstanding citizenship and solid morals. However, it must be said that there are some positive celebrity role models such as Tim Tebow, Kirk Cameron, Neal McDonough, and others who do not get the recognition they deserve for choosing good over raunchy, provocative, masquerades that compromise the values of our youth. Thanks for sharing your view! I agree with most of what you said.

    • Beth says:

      Yeah Teresa – pointing out the differences in Lady gaga’s and Miley’s rears – does show “the importance of integrity, decent morals, and good decision making”. Seriously? And we wonder why our daughters come home defeated in middle school if they don’t have a thigh gap. And mentioning the Parent’s TV Council? If parents kept TVs out of bedrooms and monitored their children’s electronic use – we wouldn’t need them at all.

  14. Ella says:

    I hope you don’t have a daughter or kids period. Or ever get too old to watch the VMAs. Wow, can’t believe the rudeness to moms in your post. Can’t you watch it during soccer practice?

    • Carly says:

      Being offended is choice. If any mom was offended at the “rudeness” of this post that is their choice. Most find this to be the opinion of one person and not only agree but find it to hit the nail right on the head.

    • Laurel Isaak says:

      There’s nothing rude about it. It’s her blog and her opinion. She’s entitled to it! I’m disappointed that you apparently do have children and aren’t telling them to read a book! TV is for entertainment purposes and is only there to give a break from the REAL work of this world. The VMA’s don’t remind us that there are those who go hungry in this world or that there are people who are sick. People who are desperately hoping that our children will get up off the couch and learn the skills needed so that the world doesn’t have hunger and the cures are found!

  15. Beth says:

    I don’t watch the VMAs or let my children watch them so I had to youtube this. And what I was thinking as I was watching wasn’t how my daughter would react but what the hell does Robin Thicke’s wife think when Miley is basically making out with him on stage.
    And Snarky – making moms feel that the outrage at Miley’s behavior is our fault is a load of hot sh*t – guilt – that’s exactly what we (Johnson County moms) need.

  16. Vail says:

    This is why I’ve never bought my daughter “Idol” stuff. Yes she wears Monster High t-shirts (it used to be Hello Kitty) but she uses her imagination to play with her dolls and doesn’t watch the shows. I also ban her from gossip rags too, though she’s very upset at me about that since “all the other girls get to read that stuff.” I don’t care if they are talking about Selena Gomez, she’s not going to read it. I don’t even read those mags, don’t think we should give our money to people who are basically stalking other people for money. But that’s another soap box…

  17. Blerg says:

    A lot of people are saying “hit the nail on the head.” Why? The author is way off base about why people are disgusted. It’s not that kids once idolized her character Hannah Montana or that she used to be wholesome. It’s that she acted the way she did publicly and that the target audience was of a very young and impressionable age. We need to stop letting our kids watch this garbage, but know they will encounter these images and replicators of this behavior and that we need to teach them that they are above that, better than that and to have more respect for themselves. We need to teach them that there are double standards and the same rules do not apply to men. it’s not fair, but it is true. Robin Thick is not getting much criticism and neither did Justin Timberlake for his role in the Superbowl wardrobe malfunction debacle for which Janet Jackson took the brunt of the fallout. The author’s “voice” and lack of understanding leaves little to be desired. It’s not that her opinion is different than mine. It is that she is critical of moms who are fighting a hard battle for all the wrong reasons when we should be supporting each other and sharing strategies to create a change where our girls are wearing clothing that is pretty and appropriate.

    • Vickie Whitecotton says:

      I’m going to politely disagree with you. First, the VMAs are not entertainment for a “young and impressionable age” group. They have always been edgy and inappropriate, and anyone who allows their young children to watch these should not be outraged at the content. Secondly, Snarky is saying just what you then go on to argue, it’s not the program, its the parents. Don’t let your children watch this, teach them to regard themselves as more important, more vital and above the type of behavior that Miley demonstrated on TV. Calling out the outraged moms who blast the media over their dismay with Miley’s act is completely on target. Moms (and dads) are the important factor in this situation. One exposure to this pathetic performance on a tv show is not going to harm any child, but allowing your child to idolize the wrong person can. Don’t hold these people up as the examples to your children and if you do, don’t be surprised when you then have to explain to your girls when their idols fail them that they weren’t to be idolized in the first place. I’m frankly tired of “mom” groups calling for censorship of any program. How about the moms take charge and turn the channel, instead of trying to restrict all programs to G rated shows? And finally, can we stop acting like all women are victims? Janet Jackson knew exactly what she was doing when her “wardrobe” malfunctioned, just as Miley did when she performed her “dance.” I fail to understand why you believe the men should be called out more? Did JT rip her top off? No, they had rehearsed that move, and Janet agreed to bare her breast. Did Robin Thicke demand that Miley behave as she did? No, Miley CHOSE to behave as she did. If both of those women where comfortable with their behavior, then they must also be comfortable with the fall out.

  18. mardi says:

    Oh, please!!! Did any of you see the “Blurred Lines” video that Robin Thicke made? Several nearly nude woman are prancing around the stage trying to entice the men. Miley’s performance was mild in comparison!

  19. Madallia says:

    It’s easy to depict your opinion on blaming moms parenting skills without any maternal instinct or experience. And those replying that do have children, who cares about the way people raise their daughters. Who cares if they allow their kids to idolize. Is this fact that you are saying “shame on you moms for not teaching your kid properly, and because you didn’t you have no right to be appalled”. This “article” is an ignorant opinion, nothing more. Ignorant in the fact that you simply do not have the psychological mentality or evident knowledge to depict validated fact from hypothesis.
    Miley is confused, fact, let’s blame her daddy since we are on a parent bashing kick.

    • Kristina Charles says:

      How do you know she doesn’t have kids? I hope that when you call someone ignorant in the future you check you own writing and grammar first, because it lessens the impact of what you have to say. You have every right to disagree, but don’t be mean in your replies.

  20. Megan says:

    FANTASTIC!!! I agree with you whole heartedly. I think what she did was disgusting and the fact that all that is allowed on television, at the time it was aired, is awful. But it is up to the parents to do the censoring especially when young children and yes 10, 11 even 15 are young children, are involved. Parents need to start being parents again and stop trying to be the cool friend, YOUR NOT!! Your MOM AND DAD!!
    Thank you for your great great critic of the situation.

  21. BaldwinRose says:

    I support you! But I would add this: What Miley did was no different than Elvis, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Cher, Boy George, Madonna, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson and Christina Aguilara. (And I’m in no way comparing talent here.) As you said, it was a shocking performance to get people talking.And it worked. It worked for Miley, and it worked for Mtv.

    I am 44 and a half years old. I remember the first time I saw Boy George on television. I was fascinated, my father was horrified. We’ve all heard the story of Elvis and his pelvis and the Ed Sullivan Show. And my husband distinctly remembers Madonna writhing around on the stage in a wedding dress during an ’80s era VMA awards broadcast. He says he’d never seen anything like it. (Besides a minor karaoke problem and an inability to load the dishwasher correctly, he really is a productive member of society.) And Madonna is now the unrequited Queen of shock value. She just happens to have the talent to maintain it. And this list goes on and on.

    I didn’t watch the VMAs. I can’t believe Mtv still has them since I don’t think that network has shown an actual music video since 2000. But when I woke up and read my Facebook page on Monday morning, I couldn’t stop laughing. Really, people? You’ve always liked the music your parents liked? They’ve never looked at you, shaken their heads and asked you to turn off that noise? You’ve never had to sneak watch music videos that Mtv could only show after 11? (Madonna did that too.)That’s what parents are supposed to do. And on August 25, 2013–for better or worse–we all became our parents.

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