Dear Snarky – My In-Laws Want to Live With Us

Dear Snarky,

My husband has “tentatively” given his parents’ permission to move in with us. We don’t live in a large home. It’s just three bedrooms, two baths and we have two kids, two dogs, a cat and a rabbit. I also don’t have the greatest relationship with my mother-in-law – a pushy know it all who never has a nice word to say about anyone. My mother-in-law also said they would need to take our bedroom since it’s on the ground floor and they don’t want to climb that many stairs to the second-floor bedrooms.

It’s not like my in-laws can’t afford their own place. They just sold the home that they lived in for 40 years for almost a million bucks! But they told my husband they want to wait until the housing market “cools off” so they can “get a better deal on a house.” That’s why they want to move in and “invest their windfall.”

I will lose my mind if they live with us. I need you to help give me a backbone so I can get out of this.

Signed, Freaking Out Right Now

Dear Freaking Out,

Sure, I’ll give you a backbone by scaring you straight. If your in-laws are moving in until housing prices come down say hello to them living with you all of 2022. I consulted with my favorite realtor, Shelli Jaye, and she said housing prices aren’t expected to fall until next year at the earliest.

So, imagine sharing a bathroom with your father-in-law for a year and now think about dealing with your mother-in-law’s daily passive aggressive parenting “suggestions.” Then, there’s the issue of how your marriage might not survive this because all your anger and frustration about the situation will be directed at your spouse. The one who “tentatively” gave them permission.

You need to figuratively slap your husband up the side of his head and tell him his parents moving in would be a marriage buster. Then share that it’s totally unacceptable for his mom and dad to bunk with him since they are sitting on almost a million dollars minimum. For the love of all that is holy they can afford a rental and that is where they should perch until the housing prices drops.

If your husband refuses to understand this then you’ve got bigger problems than his parents wanting to move in and I would start thinking about having your spouse move out.

😤 Problems, issues or dilemmas write to me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com

3Comments

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1

AthenaC on February 10, 2022 at 12:59 pm

Totally reasonable for them to want to wait out the super hot housing market. How they do that is by putting most of their stuff in storage and living in a modest apartment until they feel comfortable buying a house. Living with you is NOT their only option, so when you talk to your husband, remind him that you aren’t making them homeless or anything by refusing to let them live with you. You really don’t have the room, even if you all got along great.
2

Sherry Dowdy on February 10, 2022 at 4:49 pm

I smell some possible sub-text regarding future inheritance and the son of an overbearing mother who isn’t adult enough yet to say no to her. Personally I would have been rolling on the floor laughing when he got to the “they want to take our bedroom” part. He would have had a helluva time convincing me he was serious, that’s how ridiculous this is to me. His first allegiance should be to his own family’s living situation. Since he is the one they’re are talking to about this, and not consulting his wife, he will have to be the one to set the boundaries. However, the fact that they even had the cajunas to suggest this tells me he’s a little late to the party with that. Never too late to grow up, Dad.
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  snarkyinthesuburbs on February 10, 2022 at 7:36 pm
  
  I definitely think you are on to something with the parents playing the “future inheritance” card.