Dear Snarky – I’m Scared About a Valentine’s Day Proposal

I’m scared to death that my boyfriend is going to propose on Valentine’s Day. I heard from a friend that he’s going to do it at halftime at a basketball game at our alma mater. I can’t tell you how horrible and embarrassing that sounds. It makes me think he doesn’t even know me or that he’s doing the proposal in such a public fashion to force me to say yes.

I say force because I’m 100 percent not ready to take our relationship to that level. It’s not that I don’t love him and I’m not saying he’s not the one but I’m happy with the status quo for right now. My problem is that I’m afraid if I turn him down our relationship will be over. My friends say I should just say yes and then have a really long engagement as a way to keep him and buy myself some time to figure things out.

I feel myself leaning towards this option because I don’t want to yes yet and I don’t want to lose him. My parents though think it’s dishonest and think I should say no but then again I don’t think they like him very much so it’s hard to take their opinion into consideration.

What do you think the best way to handle this would be?

Signed Conflicted,

Dear Conflicted,

The truth will set you free. You need to have a deep discussion with your boyfriend BEFORE Valentine’s Day. Be brutally honest and yet gentle and tell him that you heard he was going to propose and that you are not ready for that level of commitment yet.

If he chooses to end your relationship that’s his right and you should respect it. Because let me tell you the whole get engaged to buy yourself some time and string this guy along is at best calculating and at worst cruel. It also doesn’t give me very good vibes about your partnership.

Now add in that you think his very public proposal was going to be a way to “force” you to say yes makes me think that perhaps you two aren’t meant to be. But I think your gut is already telling you this and you need to heed its warning.

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1

Lizze Glover on February 4, 2022 at 4:02 pm

For the love of God just tell the guy you don’t want to get married to him and let him go so he can live his life and not be at the mercy of your whims.
2

Bella on February 4, 2022 at 7:35 pm

It sounds like this relationship has hit its expiration date. I understand being in love and not wanting to get married yet. But if you’re in a relationship where you can’t talk about your feelings, your future etc then I think you’re not in the right relationship.