Dear Snarky – I Was Left Out of the Family Holiday Photo

Dear Snarky,

My feelings are really hurt by my boyfriend’s family and it has me wondering how my boyfriend can be so nice and his family so mean. Last weekend his family had professional holiday photos taken for their Christmas card and I wasn’t invited to be in the photos.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost six months and it’s getting pretty serious. I’m even hoping for an engagement ring for Christmas. It feels like his family, especially his mom, went out of their way to exclude me and hurt my feelings.

I even showed up for the photos with my boyfriend as a way to offer moral support and in hopes that because I was there someone would say go ahead and get in the photos but that didn’t happen.

I feel like I deserve an apology from his family but my boyfriend says he’s not going to start an argument about this. Now, I’m wondering if I should just flat out ask his mom why she has a problem with me?

Do you think this is a good idea because I’d rather know up front what her issues are before we get married?

Signed,

Pre-Mother-in-Law Problems

Dear Problems,

Girlfriend you need so slow your roll WAY DOWN  because you’re the problem not your boyfriend’s family. First up, there should be zero, and I mean zero expectations, that a girlfriend of six months should be included in a f-a-m-i-l-y holiday card photo.

Also, you showing up for the photo to give your boyfriend “moral” support is ridiculous. Trust me every single family member saw through that ploy to get yourself included in the holiday card. I’m sure the side eye you were getting that day was epic.

I urge you to forget about demanding an apology or confronting your boyfriend’s mother. You do not want to go there primarily because you’re the one at fault.

If you want any chance for this relationship to make it to the new year you need to lower your expectations and that includes what I think is very wishful thinking that you’re getting an engagement ring for Christmas. My vast experience in personal relationships is telling me that’s not going to happen and you need to right now start adjusting to this reality so you don’t ruin Christmas for his family and yours.

 

6 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – I Was Left Out of the Family Holiday Photo

  1. Nelda Fuller says:

    What in the hell is wrong with people??!!! I bet I know what the boyfriend’s mom wants for Christmas – her son to break up with this train wreck.

  2. AthenaC says:

    “Getting pretty serious” =/= soon-to-be engaged.

    On a scale of relationship seriousness from 1 – 10, “getting pretty serious” is around a 3, while getting engaged is around an 8. She’s got a WAYS to go before she can reasonably expect to be talking about marriage.

  3. credmond13 says:

    Ugh, the sense of entitlement in millenials these days is ridiculous. (Yes, I am assuming this is a millennial because no one over, say, 25 would act like this.) I dated my husband for 3 years and I still wouldn’t have confronted his mom over not being in the family photo after that amount of time.

  4. Lisa k Waller says:

    How is this even a real person writing this letter. Perfect advice Snarky.
    She’s way too presumptive for only dating someone that short amount of time. If she keeps this up, there definitely won’t be an engagement ring or anything else. That stuff would get old quick.

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