Dear Snarky – The Teacher Returned Our Class Gift

Dear Snarky,

I’m super angry with my child’s teacher. For Valentine’s Day the moms went all out and collected money for a really nice piece of jewelry from a popular retailer for my daughter’s 3^rd grade teacher. The reason we did this is because the teacher is getting married soon and we thought this would be a nice Valentine’s Day and wedding gift from the class.

Well, come to find out from my sister who works at that store the teacher not only returned the necklace we got her but she was a huge, F bombing bitch, about it because she couldn’t get cash back. They would only give her a gift card because she didn’t have a receipt. According to my sister she even insulted the moms who picked out the necklace calling their taste – basic and low-class.

I’ve already told all the moms what happened and now we’re wondering if we should say something to the teacher.

Signed, Insulted

Dear Insulted,

My advice is four words. KEEP. YOUR. MOUTH. SHUT.

Sure, it would be awesome to let the teacher know that you have Intel on what a boorish trog she was but after that thrill what do you have left? I’ll tell you – a kid that’s in her class for another three months. Talk about awkward.

I strongly urge you to not do that to your child. Instead learn a lesson from this. For the rest of your parenting career don’t get a teacher an expensive gift that’s very taste specific like jewelry. If you feel you must get a present go the gift card route. I also suggest the parents in your class skip the teacher appreciation and end of year gifts in favor of handwritten notes from your children highlighting the favorite things they’ve learned that year.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky “Advice With an Attitude” email me at snarkyinthesuburbs.com 😉

5Comments

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1

Normal Mom on February 22, 2019 at 2:44 pm
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Gift etiquette: after you give the gift, you don’t get to inquire about it or hear about it. You have given the gift and that is that. It’s horrible that the sister ratted out the teacher–that’s a breach of etiquette as well. Teachers work hard, and a gift of fancy jewelry was actually inappropriate, because, as Snarky points out, jewelry is so dependent on individual taste. Snarky is 100% on point, as usual. Do not engage. And give teachers gift cards and notes specifying how wonderful the teacher was, always. If you know they love Starbucks, or movies, or Target–there you go. This is one of those situations where the moms are in the wrong, no matter how much their heart was in the right place.
- 2
  
  snarkyinthesuburbs on February 22, 2019 at 3:31 pm
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  Great points!
3

Robin Smith on February 22, 2019 at 3:33 pm
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At the beginning of the school year, we email the teacher a survey asking questions such as favorite snack, restaurant, allergies, stores. Then we have ideas for gifts.
I agree that while the teacher could have been more tactful, parents shouldn’t talk to her about the gift. It is finished, leave it alone.
4

Momof2gals on February 22, 2019 at 5:11 pm
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Not even my husband can get it right with jewelry! Your hearts were in the right lane but “I’ve already told all the moms” shoots you in the left and borderline breakdown lane. Haven’t we all returned something the other person(s) thought was amazing and haven’t we all thought they had taste for $h\£ as well? Tick-a-lock and learn from both mistakes
5

Pat G on February 23, 2019 at 9:23 am
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Sorry but I have to disagree. The teacher doesn’t get a pass even though I do agree it should not be brought up, at least until the school year ends. If she had any class at all, she would hold her oh so discriminating nose and wear the offensive, expensive gift that was given with love and generosity, if only for the children’s benefit. Anyone who has received a painted macaroni necklace knows the joy on the face of the child who made it is priceless when you actually wear it. At some point, she should know that the crass behavior she showed is publicly known and maybe she can show a little more character in the future. You are right to be upset and offended.