I’m in big trouble with my mom. I’m 25 and an E.R. nurse. This Thanksgiving I was exhausted and really over my entire family. I had worked some long shifts at the hospital and the last thing I wanted to do was go to my mom’s house and cook and clean while the men in my family sat on their asses.
So, I lied and told my mom I couldn’t come for Thanksgiving because I had been called in to work at the last-minute. As I’m laying in my bed binge watching Stranger Things and having a great time, my mom, unbeknownst to me, is on social media gushing about how thankful she is to have a daughter who works so hard at the hospital even on a holiday.
Well, thanks to one of my bitchy co-workers who left a comment on that post that my mom was mistaken because I wasn’t at work, or “at least not working at my regular hospital” I get busted.
Now my mom is furious and being a real drama queen saying she’s “heartbroken that I lied to her.” How do I make this right? The family theatrics are more than I can handle.
Signed, Sorry, But Not That Sorry
Okay, girl you know you have to apologize to your mom for lying, but right after that you’re going to have to give her the hard truth.
Bluntly share that going to her house and having the women do all the work while the men in the family do next to nothing is just not your jam anymore. Explain that you have a demanding job and you’re not into being a maid and cook during the holidays. That said, you don’t expect to be treated like a princess, but you do need your down time and as a grown woman you have the right to skip a family holiday.
Hopefully, your mother will understand. If not, that’s her problem not yours, and maybe, just maybe, she’s also might be tired of waiting on everybody and this will be her motivation to free herself from some of the holiday drudgery.
Now moving on that pot stirring witch of a co-worker. Say nothing. She wants a response. She wants to know she “got you.” Don’t give her the satisfaction. If she brings up your mom’s Facebook post just smile and say, “It was sweet of you to let me mom know I wasn’t at this hospital” and leave it at that. Let her wonder where you were and what you were doing. It will drive her crazy.
*If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With an Attitude 😉 – email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or PM on my Snarky FB page.