Dear Snarky – I Refuse to Wear an Ugly Halloween Costume

Dear Snarky,

My friends and I are going as a group to a Halloween party and we usually do a themed costume for all of us. I suggested we go as Wonder Woman through the ages. That got shot down and now the group wants to do a Beauty and the Beast theme. The problem is I was “voted” to be the beast. Excuse me, but I don’t want to spend an entire party in a furry mask and looking ugly.

 We go to this party every year and all of us want to look hot because there’s usually a bunch of cute guys there. I think the reason my group wants me to go as the beast is because I’m usually the hottest one at that party and if I’m the beast that’s less competition for them.

Do I bail? Do I throw a fit? I don’t know what to do without everyone thinking I’m being a baby.

 Signed, No Beast

Dear No Beast,

Girlfriend adjust your attitude. You will go to that party as the beast. A super sexy beast.

Yes, you sound a little (or a lot) full of yourself, but I totally understand not wanting to spend  your Halloween breathing through an acrylic fur mask from the Costume Super Store sporting horns and wearing a coat and pantaloons. I’m middle-aged and chubby and even I wouldn’t want to work that costume all evening.

So, re-imagine the beast costume into a beast bikini and instead of a mask just do some make up and add in a horn headband. Will your friends be mad that you’re not hideous? Probably, but FYI  you might need a  bestie upgrade and every costume is open to artistic interpretation and that’s exactly what you did.

Also, I think it’s total BS that one girl in the group gets the designated “unattractive” costume. By going rogue with yours you’re turning the beast into a beauty and isn’t that staying within the theme of your group?


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