Dear Snarky – I Was Job Backstabbed By My Bestie

Dear Snarky,

 My best friend just threw me under the bus. She works for a large company and I noticed they had an opening that fit me perfectly. When I asked her about the job she agreed I would be awesome at it and told me to put her down as a reference.

 Come to find out I never even got an interview and another friend told me that my best friend not only didn’t give me a reference, but she went out of her way to make sure I didn’t get the job.

 I couldn’t believe it so I asked her about and she admitted to me that she thought “our friendship was too precious” for us to work together. Say what? The company is huge and has campuses all over the city. We wouldn’t even have been working together in the same zip code.

  I’m so hurt and I can’t understand why she would do this to me. Do you have any advice what to do next?

 Signed, Betrayed

Dear Betrayed,

 Let’s think positive for a minute. You might have lost out on a job, but you did find out that your best friend is a huge jerk and you need to fire her from that position.

 Yes, I know that doesn’t sound positive, but knowledge is power and now you know not to waste another second being besties with someone who is a liar and backstabber and I’m guessing probably very jealous of you.

 Here’s what a best friend should have done. If she didn’t want you working at the same company for “friendship” reasons she should have expressed that concern straight up and you two should have discussed it. Perhaps, the issue could even be that she thinks you’re a flake and that you wouldn’t be a good hire. If that’s the problem your friend could have  pointed out that the job most likely wouldn’t be a great  fit because it’s very demanding and that the corporate culture goes way beyond 9 to 5.

What she shouldn’t have done is lied to you, encouraged you to apply for the job and then mercilessly sabotaged you.

 My advice is keep on job AND best friend hunting because you need to be in the market for a new one.

*If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With an Attitude – email me at or PM on my Snarky FB page.

6 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – I Was Job Backstabbed By My Bestie

  1. Markie says:

    What a creep! Yes, run do not walk to find a new friend. If this “friend” didn’t want you to work at the same company all she had to do is keep her mouth shut not lie her ass off that she was going to help you.

  2. Human Resource Director says:

    Whoa, I work in human resources and this sucks. If an employee I admire gives me a heads up that a friend is applying I will give that person a special look. To lie to a friend that you’re going to go the extra effort with a job rec etc and then do nothing or talk bad about them is pretty horrible.

  3. Been Bitten, Too says:

    A similar thing happened to me. My “friend” was going to call me when a positioned opened up. Well, the company asked her 6X to call me to come interview. This back-stabbing bitch never called me but told her boss I “wasn’t interested right now”. Fast forward, I applied to a position, got hired on the spot, and now have been given opportunities she has not. She’s currently digging her own grave with her back-biting and constant bitching. Karma, baby. You may not get see it 1st hand, but it will catch up to your “friend”. Hold your head high and be the best YOU!!! You’ll be light years ahead!!!

  4. Been There Done That says:

    I haven’t had this happen but I had a “good friend” throw me under the bus to our supervisor because she was jealous that I’d become good friends with another female in the group. She could have come and talked to me about things but instead chose to handle them very passive-aggressively and needless to say we were not friends after that.

  5. Meg Glenn says:

    Uncool, dude. Un. Cool. Totally agree, Snarky. Ultimately no one wants a job where you have to look over your shoulder all the time, and that’s exactly what they’d have had. Walk away… from the job and the faux-friend.

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