Dear God in heaven please spare me from all the continued mom outrage about Miley Cyrus and her VMA performance. Sure, it was crass and oh so calculated. Look at what we’re all talking about. But the boo hoo and devastation because the 20-year-old was a once upon a time “role model” is getting stale. To this I say Miley Cyrus is not the problem – you, the mother, are.
Miley shouldn’t have been your daughter’s idol. Never mind that you dropped some serious cash on her two concert tours Best of Both Worlds and Wonder World and had a Hannah Montana themed birthday for your then eight-year-old daughter back in 2009 with the cutest guitar-shaped cake e-v-e-r. This is when you, as the adult, should have been educating your daughter that Hannah Montana is a character played by an actress named Miley Cyrus. She’s not real. It’s called a teachable moment. When you swoop in and grab the opportunity to point out r-e-a-l people who are doing amazing things like say their teacher or the oncologist that lives down the street. These people are role models not a Disney channel actress with a dad who has made some seriously bad life decisions and hair style choices.
If, you as a parent, were so mortified by Miley’s performance why didn’t you change the channel to say PBS? They were running Masterpiece Theatre during the foam finger grind and about that – why were you even watching the VMA’s? I should think most mothers with girls old enough to have enjoyed Hannah Montana back in the day would have aged out of the VMA demographic. That’s my polite way of saying by now you should have better taste in music. Oh, I know a lot of you are going to throw J.T. at me and the whole N Sync of it all but aren’t we techy enough to watch the clip later on our phone or iPad as we sit in our cars and wait for soccer practice to be over?
Lastly, you should be raising a much smarter daughter. A daughter that understands it’s called the entertainment industry and Miley Cyrus is a business. A business that thrives of being provocative, disgusting, (you name it) therefore getting phenomenal amounts of free advertising and garnering the status as the Queen of Social Media for a few days. Your daughter should be savvy enough to know that ultimately she is Miley’s boss. All she has to do to silence the freak show is not buy her music, not follow her tweets, vines and instagrams – to simply just say no to Miley. If this happens slowly Cyrus will become a VMA footnote as the crazy lady with an abnormally long tongue who used to be on some lame Disney show that “danced” with bears all while wearing orthopedic shoes and going to 3rd base with a foam finger.
***For all things wonderfully Snarky go to www.snarkygear.com where you can find the new Spring/Summer Snarky line of clothing and accessories. Plus, there’s my book - Snarky in the Suburbs Back to School. (Click here for purchase information.) Here’s a little ditty about it: The Spring Creek Elementary School PTA board (a coven of Mean Moms dressed in Uggs, yoga pants, and dermal filler) is up to no good. Wynn Butler (middle-aged, uncool, and not bringing sexy back) is determined to find out what’s going on. With help from her two kids, a Roomba vacuum turned mobile surveillance drone, and a few good friends, Wynn launches a covert investigation that leads to the “mother of all revenge capers” at the school’s annual Fall Festival. If you’ve ever fantasized about smoke bombing the idiot parent who has yet to master the fine art of the school drop-off lane, or standing up and shouting, “Liar, liar, Botox on fire” during a PTA meeting, then this delicious tale of payback is for you. To stay up-to-date on new posts and take part in my not so deep thoughts click on this Facebook link - http://is.gd/iEgnJ (That’s the abbreviated link to my FB page) or I twitter @snarkynsuburbs.